CHICAGO – Hans Zimmer made the extraordinary announcement this afternoon that anyone who plays the tuba or the trombone, owes him $50. ‘The way I figure it,’ the Frankfurter said, waving his baton, ‘Before I came along you assholes were all playing the flights of the bumblebees, now after the score I did for Inception, it’s ommpha this and ommpha that.’
Marcus Hawley of the Los Angeles chapter of the Tuba and Trombone Players Associated Guild said: ‘He’s not wrong. We all owe him gratitude and yes possibly some money as well.’
The use of tuba and trombone parts has gone up by 76% in trailers and scores according to the Institute for the Collection of Tuba Related Statistics.
Mr Zimmer said he had a list of the addresses of everyone who plays tuba or trombone and he would be coming round on Friday afternoon, commenting ‘You better have my fucking money.’ 

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