GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY PREQUEL ANNOUNCED.

 HOLLWOOD – Marvel producer Kevin Feige has announced that a prequel to the upcoming comic-book blockbuster Guardians of the Galaxy is already in the works:

We pretty much knew early on that Guardians was going to be a smash hit so we started talking to James Gunn and after throwing around some weird and wonderful riffs he came up with an amazing idea for a prequel.”

Feige was unwilling to reveal too much information (“I don’t want Stan Lee turning up at my house with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch”) but he did drop a few tantalizing hints:

Drake Hobbs (Adam Sandler) is a professional ice hockey player who accidentally severs his penis during a minor league game. Overnight he becomes an internet sensation but after enjoying the media attention for a while he turns to alcohol and becomes a recluse. One year later he is shopping for booze when he bumps into Genie Floss (Drew Barrymore) a one -legged pole dancer with Tourette’s syndrome. Genie encourages Drake to attend an alcoholics anonymous meeting with her, love blossoms and Drake plans his ice hockey comeback.”

Asked how this ties into the Marvel cinematic universe, Feige shook his head:

“Oh f*ck me, I knew we’d forgotten something. I’m sure it will be fine we’ll just tag a scene on during the end credits that will explain everything.”

Guardian of the Galaxy: The Prequel is due for release in 2015.

 

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