VENICE – Buzz Lightyear and that chick from Speed manage somehow to fall off Space.

I’m not sure how they’re doing it, but Alfonso Cuaron has made a 3D film that isn’t shit! It’s a roller-coaster ride, but imagine the roller-coaster was in space and then after a few minutes the roller-coaster started falling apart and exploding and being utterly wrecked and all that. And George Clooney is there to help us out but Miss Congeniality is nowhere near as good an astronaut and we’re flying and we’re drifting and we’re inside the helmet and we’re outside the helmet and it’s all one shot. There’s a bit of philosophical Contact/2001/Solaris guff about is there a God or not, but this film definitely answers NO, because Alfonso Cuaron makes films but once ever blue moon, while Gore Verbinski poops one out every year.

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One thought on “GRAVITY: REVIEW”

  1. I’ve only seen the trailer, but it sure seems like space has a bunch of earthly traits like wind, centrifugal force, GRAVITY, and helpless female lead actresses that are always too weak to help themselves.

    I wonder when Sandra is going to realize the damage she is doing to young women portraying that “women are always less than men” character time and time again.

    Even in Miss Congeniality, she was a tag along agent compared to the men, and it took MICHAEL CAINE to give her the make over to make her feminine?

    Hello Sandra… stop oppressing the progress of women PLEASE! Find some better scripts that actually represent the progress that REAL women have made over the past 100 years, and ADMIT TO YOURSELF that you ARE one of those amazing women. You can create SMARTER ART that helps this world progress instead of keeping us trapped in limiting beliefs like the rest of Hollywood.

    Michael Caine is a great butler, but he doesn’t know sh!t about make overs.

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