HOLLYWOOD – Game of Thrones author George RR Martin has already published his next novel in the fantasy saga A Song of Ice and Fire, Winds of Winter, but didn’t tell anyone, it emerged today.
Despite claiming to have missed another deadline for publication which would see the new Game of Thrones novel The Winds of Winter be published after the next season of the HBO show, it has come to the attention of the Studio Exec that not only has George RR Martin finished the novel, he has also had it secretly published in Malaysia. A avid George RR Martin watcher (or Martinette, as they prefer to be known) Lou Aggrandizement told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY that Martin had actually finished the novel seven moths ago and had already publish it in Malaysia.
This is typical George. He is very nervous about the reactions every new book elicits and that has only got worse with the fame and enthusiasm generated by the HBO television series of Game of Thrones. So his usual method is that he has the book translated into a foreign language and gets it published under an assumed name somewhere remote so that he can gauge the reaction on an audience who aren’t as familiar with the hoopla. Dance of Dragons was published in Afghanistan in Pashto, A Clash of Kings was translated into Latin and published at the Vatican, and a Storm of Swords was translated into Cornish, which is unfortunately a dead language and no one read it.
So the Malays have read it.
Very much so. George miscalculated. Although the title in Malay read Billy’s Great Big Chocolate Box, no one was fooled for a minute. You see because of internet piracy now shows like Game of Thrones reach everywhere and Malaysia has a huge fan-base who immediately started to translate it back into English. In fact this is why the official book has been pushed back. Martin denies that he published the book already, he says he’s never heard of ‘Billy’s great Big Chocolate Box’, but he is now rewriting the book so that it isn’t identical with the stuff coming out of Asia.
That’s f*cked up.
I know. But the general reaction is good.
Okay Spoiler me baby.
From what I’ve been able to piece together, Daenerys dies, Cersei dies, Theon dies, Arya dies, the White Walkers don’t die. Then there’s a kind of reverse that happens. Jon Snow comes back to life, Stannis comes back to life and so on until Ned Stark comes back to life at the very end and it ends with King Robert (now alive) turning up at Winterfell and asking Ned to be his Hand. Yeah. It was all a dream!