clooney coffee

HOLLYWOOD – Famous Nespresso drinker George Clooney was observed at a cafe in London this morning drinking a cup of tea.

“I was out for my morning run,” said social media manager Jake Lamb:

I’d just stopped to purchase an isotonic drink from a supermarket when I saw George Clooney through the window of the cafe next door drinking a cup of tea. I couldn’t believe it, I mean, the nerve of the man.

Jake loitered outside of the cafe for ten minutes watching Clooney consume his illicit beverage:

He was clearly enjoying the tea. Sometimes between sips he’d pause to savour the taste and then smile with satisfaction. I was gobsmacked. I only started drinking Nespresso because I wanted to be more like George but seeing him with the tea, well, let’s just say it’s made me question my entire existence.

What made matters worse for Jake was that he’d recently purchased a brand new Nespresso machine:

I paid £200 for one last week. It was my prize possession. I used to look forward to coming home so I could have a cup of coffee and watch The Monuments Men. I made myself a Nespresso when I got back from seeing him in the hope that I could get over it but I took a small slip and all I could taste was betrayal.

Clooney was unavailable for comment but a Nespresso spokesman issued the following statement:

We decided some months ago that we needed a change and so George and ourselves amicably parted company and he is free to consume any hot beverage he chooses . However, if anyone sees Hugh Jackman drinking anything but Nespresso please contact us immediately.

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