HOLLYWOOD – No one is sure how it began but the violent feud between Geoffrey Rush and William H. Macy has now entered its seventh year, with both actors ignoring calls from various famous luminaries to bury the hatchet.

‘The only hatchet I’ll be burying,’ said the fuming Fargo star, ‘will be a very literal hatchet in the back of that asshole’s cranium.’    

Hollywood commentator Xavier Poulis observed:

The tragedy is the two were very good friends for a long time. When they starred with Ben Stiller in Mystery Men there was a party atmosphere on the set and they would frequently go out drinking, paint-balling and hover-rafting together. But something along the way soured their relationship. To this day nobody knows what. 

John Travolta – a friend of both men – said: 

It breaks my heart. I’ve always looked on the two of them as the finest character actors of our generation. When I saw Shine I phoned up Gebeeza Razooks and said, you have to come to my place for a fish fry. Gebeeza came the next day and there he met Weeeeeeeee Maceron and a friendship developed.  

Over the past years the two actors have perpetrated a series of attacks on each other. These have gone from filling their respective trailers with manure and red M&Ms to garroting each other backstage prior to an important first night.

When will the fighting end? When will peace between the Rush and the Macy come? Only the Studio Exec knows. And he’s not telling.   

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