BAGHDAD – Gary Sinise has finally been pulled out of Iraq, over two years after the last US troops left. Mr. Sinise was in Iraq entertaining the troops when the withdrawal happened but he was not informed.
‘I was out of the loop, I guess,’ said a tired Mr. Sinise, on arriving at LAX this morning.
But an anonymous veteran said that – although troops appreciated the actor’s work for veteran charities – they had become ‘heartily tired of his endless entertaining.’
His bass lines are just insipid and all that gung-ho stuff gets wearisome fast. He was doing a bass solo and we just kind of sneaked out and left him to it. He had his eyes closed because he was in the zone.
The Pentagon denied that Mr. Sinise had been deliberately left behind. A spokesman also denied that he was to be redeployed to North Korea where he would join Chuck Norris as part of an ‘Artistic Task Force’.