gary busey

HOLLYWOOD – In the early hours of this morning, Hollywood legend Gary Busey woke to find his mouth had been stolen.

The thieves had managed to enter Mr. Gary Busey’s home in Malibu via a screen door at the back of the property, disable his security system and steal the Point Break actor’s mouth without waking him or his wife. Police detectives called to the scene said that this was a highly unusual crime but Mr. Busey’s mouth was an extremely valuable collectable with some collectors willing to pay up to $3ooo dollars for the item.

Detective Stokes of the LAPD said that such body thefts were becoming increasingly regular in the Hollywood Hills:

Essentially there is a roaring trade in black market body souvenirs and the thieves have become incredible  sophisticated. We have reason to believe that they might be recruiting plastic surgeons who ‘know their way around’ the target’s anatomy so to speak.

The theft comes only two weeks following the theft of John Travolta’s body hair. In the 1990s Daniel Day Lewis has his left foot surgically removed as he slept but the thief was apprehended and Day Lewis’ foot was sewn back on, an adventure which led to his New York Times Bestseller My Actual Left Foot.

Detective Stokes said that they were confident of retrieving Gary Busey’s mouth and making arrests in the following 24 hours:

If it’s still in the country then I believe we will be able to track it down and retake it. I mean this is Gary Busey’s mouth.  There’s no way they’re going to be able to keep it quiet.

Gary Busey was unavailable for comment, because his mouth had been stolen.

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