GANGSTER SQUAD LARGELY FORGOTTEN
HOLLYWOOD – It came as some relief today that the AMA declared that those unfortunate enough to have watched Gangster Squad when it was released earlier this year have – for the most part- already forgotten it.
‘The symptoms of slack mouthed drooling and bleary eyed alienation have for the most part passed,’ remarked Dr. Shuman in a 400 page report. ‘It’s almost like it never existed.’
No one was more relieved than cast member Ryan Gosling, who candidly admitted to having slept through his own performance.
I thought the gig was up. I was blander than one of the entrees in my macrobiotic restaurant Gosling’s Guzzler Hole. But fortunately not that many people went to see it and those who did have now filled that brain space with some other inanity.
Co-star Josh Brolin also declared himself ‘happy and exhausted from the trauma’ of Reuben Fleischer’s soporific grind. He apologized to all his fan and promised not to do it again. Sean Penn was a lone voice, declaring he thought ‘it wasn’t that bad’, confirming many people’s opinion of him as an out and out fruit cake who always takes the opposite view in order to be controversial.
We asked Dr. Shuman if there was any danger that the publication of his report ‘The Blessed Forgetfulness that Followed Gangster Squad‘ might revive memories, to which he replied:
Shit! You know, we never thought of that.
Gangster Squad 2 will be available on pay per view.