ARENDELLE – The world was in shock this morning after Queen Elsa froze the United States of America to protest against the countries foreign policy and continued infringement of civil liberties.
“Land of the free my ass” said an angry Elsa.
They’ve tapped my phone, they’ve hacked into my e-mail account. They’ve threatened me with crude photoshopped pictures of myself and Pinocchio in a compromising situation. Not only that but we are having to suffer nightly drone strikes because they say a suspected ‘terrorist’ is hiding in the forest. Robin Hood isn’t a terrorist, he’s a Fox!
Elsa revealed that the final straw came when she heard the special forces had tried to kidnap her beloved cuddly sidekick with the pointy nose:
I created Edward Snowdon to bring down the US government and nobody will touch a hair on that boys head!
President Obama said he is unwilling to negotiate with Queen Elsa and called on her to unfreeze America or he will consider an all out Nuclear assault on Arendelle. However political philosopher Noam Chomsky thinks the president is bluffing:
“He’s bluffing” said a confident Chomsky
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