FROZEN 2: CONCLUSIVE PROOF AGAINST CLIMATE CHANGE, GOP CLAIMS
WASHINGTON – The GOP took a break from being pen pals with the Ayatollahs to announce that the green-lighting of Frozen 2 is conclusive proof against the theory of man-made climate change.
Senator Tom McKinley told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:
We have been living in fear for years of man-made climate change. The environmentalists have painted a nightmarish picture of high tides, droughts and other imminent catastrophes. But what Disney have proved by announcing the production of Frozen 2 is that we have no longer anything to worry about and can use as much coal, shale gas and oil as we feel fit.
How does that follow?
Princess Elsa has the magical power to make things colder, right? And she freezes up the harbor and the land, even though it’s summer, yes? So how is carbon production causing the Earth to get warmer if Princess Elsa is doing those things?
But she’s under a magical curse? I mean it’s a fairy tale.
And I tell you what else is a fairy tale, the idea that using solar panels and renewables can save the planet. What we really need is magic Princesses. And thanks to Disney, that is what we’re going to get. Princesses and magic comedy snow men, who by the way dream of climate change and summer but only because they’re comically stupid.
Frozen 2 will be released in 2016.