FORGET DIE HARD – THE SHINING IS THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIE EVER
HOLLYWOOD – The Shining is the best Christmas Movie Ever.
Die Hard might be yuletide fun, but Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining is the best Christmas movie of all. The 1980 Stephen King adaptation always makes me feel Christmassy. Okay there are no Christmas carols, no one says Merry Christmas, no Christmas tree or Christmas decorations. But all the same for me ever Christmas Eve I don’t feel like Christmas has properly come until blood gushes from the opening doors of a pair of elevators. But why? Why? WHY??
As a horror film, The Shining – let’s face it – isn’t scary. But it is cosy. Mmmm. The light of the snow coming through the windows. The snow maze, The snow drifts. Escaping from the bathroom via a snow slide. A snow mobile for crying out loud. Did I mention a snow maze? The Shining is a tone poem in love with snow.
Home Alone is essentially The Shining but with Kevin projecting unknown burglars onto the faces of his parents to shield him from the Freudian terror that his mum and dad actually want to kill him. Danny is resourceful like Kevin. He knows how to escape his father because he knows how to play. And Danny has an invisible friend – kinda like how Jesus has an invisible dad.
Knitwear is a vital part of the first chapter of the Greatest Story Ever Told: The Nativity. The unironically great jumpers worn by Jack Torrance and Danny, not to mention Wendy’s choice winter woollies.
A Family Movie
A movie for the whole family. Christmas is a time that family comes together, isolated from the outside world for at least a day. And The Shining gives a lesson in how terrible your family can be. From your alcoholic abusive father, to your weak mother to your annoying bowl haired child. There’s something for everyone. Except black chefs. There’s nothing here for them. Nothing.