Our series of exclusive extracts from the 2014 Yearbook of Sir Edwin Fluffer continues.
May 1st Kirk Douglas rang first thing with wonderful news: he’s got a new cinematographer for Baby Jane! It’s Gordon Willis who did Annie Hall and The Godfather. Hope he remembers to take the lens cap off!
May 18th Very upset to hear that Gordon Willis has died. He was one of the best cinematographers in the business; not once did he forget to take the lens cap off.
May 30th Woken up by Stevie Spielberg banging on my window. He’s going to do another Indiana Jones, Connery’s said he rather lick Olivia de Havilland, and so they’re re-writing his part for me and I’ll be playing Harrison Ford’s grandfather!
I might need some practice with the whip. I got into terrible trouble with it on that Columbo I did and nearly had Peter Falk’s eye out.
June 1st Kirk Douglas called. He got the surprise of his life when I answered because he thought he’d rung Eli Wallach! Apparently Eli’s interested in Baby Jane, so that’s good news. I haven’t seen him since I was dropped from The Good, The Bad, The Ugly and The Fruity… I don’t know if that was even released in the end.
June 11th First day on the disaster waiting to happen which is this bloody Star Wars thing I’m doing. Unfortunately there was a bit of an incident with Harrison Ford. I was waving at Carrie Fisher when I spilled my drink, there was a terrible crash, and somehow the poor old darling’s broken his leg. Hopefully the insurance will cover it.
June 24th Rang Eli Wallach to talk about Baby Jane but there was no answer. Turned on the telly and heard that he’d died! All a terrible shock and of course he will be missed. We were going to be in The Magnificent Seven together but they’d hired one actor too many and I drew the short straw.
July 1st Kirk Douglas has been on the phone. James Garner can’t wait to make a start on Baby Jane. The sooner the better apparently!
July 19th Such sad news about the death of James Garner. Jimmy was an absolute delight and I shall miss his sense of humour terribly. He had used to have an hilarious message on his answer machine pretending he was called Jim Rockford!
July 21st Dawn of the Planet of the Apes has been released and I have to say that Mickey Serkis puts in one of the worst performances that it’s ever been my misfortune to watch! I’m glad they cut my part from the picture, I’d be embarrassed to be seen with him! I knew it wasn’t going very well when I told the director about my idea for a tea party scene and he just pretended he hadn’t even heard me
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