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Friday 18 January 2019
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SIR EDWIN FLUFFER REMEMBERS DORIS DAY

SIR EDWIN FLUFFER REMEMBERS DORIS DAY

HOLLYWOOD – Sir Edwin Fluffer once again delves into his personal memoirs – soon to be published as ‘Not THAT Kind of Fluffer!!!’ – to recall Doris Day.

It was Doris Day who first introduced me to cocaine. Except it wasn’t actually cocaine, it was M&Ms. And it wasn’t Doris Day, it was young Jack Nicholson. I don’t know why I said that now. 
Anyway, the year was nineteen hundred and sixty something and I found myself at a party hosted by that lovely old darling Dennis Hopper. This came as quite a surprise to me as I thought I was meeting Fred MacMurray for pancakes, but that’s Hollywood!

Jack showed me into a dimly lit room and invited me to take a seat. That led to some confusion, but I brought the chair back and sat down. He had that look in his eye and I knew that mischief wasn’t far behind. ‘Whaddaya think of these then Neddy?’ he drawled, and with that Jack removed the napkin that was covering a bowl in the middle of the table. I couldn’t believe my eyes! There must’ve been three or four packets of M&Ms in there, and all the colours of the rainbow! Apart from indigo and violet, they don’t make those.

And these weren’t peanut M&Ms, we were talking 100% pure chocolate! 
Jack picked one up and popped it in his mouth, his eyes rolled back in his head and he let out a long ‘damn that’s good’. I’d never tried them before myself, so ‘when in Rome’ I thought, and I did the same. It was delicious! 
‘Fill your boots man,’ laughed Jack. He could tell I was enjoying it, so I had another. And another. And another… I didn’t like the orange ones, they seemed to taste a bit funny to me, but before I knew it I must’ve had half a dozen or more. 
Just then Dennis walked in! He saw Jack and I exchange guilty glances. 
 
‘You guys ain’t hogging all the M&Ms are you?’ he said, and with that he picked up a whole handful and shoved them all in his mouth at once! Two hours later the bowl was empty, the party was over and I went home. 
John Carradine said he’s give me a lift, but I walked. 
And now whenever I’m in a store and I see a packet of M&Ms I’m always reminded of that night.
I tried Shelley Winters once as well, but that’s another story…
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