grace kelly

HOLLYWOOD- Sir Edwin Fluffer once again delves into his personal memoirs – soon to be published as ‘Not THAT Kind of Fluffer!!!’ – to recall the luminous Grace Kelly.

The number one rule of this business that I still lovingly call ‘show’ is dignity at all times. Whether one’s helping Richard Burton wipe the vomit from his shoes or lending Ollie Reed a handkerchief in order to wipe his vomit from somebody else’s shoes, one must maintain certain standards.

If Grace Kelly calls you a talentless self-serving ignoramus you rise above it. If she accuses you of being too drunk to remember your lines you ignore her. If she throws an ash-tray at your head you just duck and try your best to continue with the scene.

We were starring together as a husband and wife team of architects in Dial C For Corporate Manslaughter when darling Grace made her feelings for me quite clear. I was obviously smitten with her, and I still like to think that despite her protestations she felt the same. 
Unfortunately her husband took an instant dislike to me and in retrospect I can hardly blame him. Some of my language toward him could be described as a little on the coarse side, and challenging him to an arm wrestling competition was not a wise move. He beat me soundly and when I suggested best out of three he had me deported. I thought ‘Prince’ was his first name, but it turns out that Prince Rainier III was in fact his official title, and to this day I am still not welcome in Monaco.  
A few months later Lloyd Bridges and I were expelled from Argentina as well, but that’s another story…
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