flight 370

NEW YORK – The Malaysian Airliner Flight 370 – the Boeing 777 that went missing on March 8 – was shot down by a CNN missile in a cynical bid to attract ratings, claimed a Fox News source last night.

The Fair and Balanced broadcaster released a report which stated:

Although we have no so-called facts as such to support this theory, we do think that it is highly suspicious that CNN’s rating increased over the last weeks as a direct result of the disappearance and that President Obama has consistently failed to call an inquiry into the missile capabilities of our rival news network: CNN. Coincidence? We don’t think so.

CNN were quick to respond, calling the accusations ‘tasteless and totally unfounded in reality’ to which Fox anchor Brit Hume replied ‘We know you are, what am I?’ 

Fox News will be destroying one of the seven wonders of the world sometime next week.

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