FIFTY SHADES OF GREY WILL ‘BE BAD ON PURPOSE’

NEW YORK – New Fifty Shades of Grey scribe Kelly Marcel has revealed that her script of the ground breaking, lingering, thrusting, moistening novel will be ‘purposefully and dynamically bad’.
‘Making a good film is easy,’ Ms. Marcel said. ‘But this is going to be a real challenge. How can I take this towering, lurching, leering, pumping novel full of sweaty dripping, panting pages and discipline it and make it bad, so bad, you filthy bitch? You know you want it.’

Ryan Gosling was offered the role of billionaire Christian Grey and was so scared he hasn’t stop running yet. He’s currently hiding in Terrence Malick’s crowd sourced movie The Knight of Cups (read more about Malick’s new film here). Angelina Jolie also expressed an interest in the role of Anastasia Steele but was openly scoffed at and anyway her new mother Oprah Winfrey won’t allow her to do rude stuff (read more about the adoption here).

Marcel argues that the book is liberating for women, allowing them to honestly indulge in and explore their own sexual desires.

‘It’s the best thing to happen to women since the spin cycle,’ she whsipered. (Read more about the spin cycle in 50 Shades of Grey).

Fifty Shades of Grey will be released in 2015.

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