zack snyder

HOLLYWOOD – Psychiatrists identify Zack Snyder Syndrome as the repeated expectation that a Zack Snyder film will be good.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Handbook of Mental Disorders Fifth Edition – aka DSM-5 – has identified Zack Snyder Syndrome as ‘the persistent expectation that a Zack Snyder film will be anything other than a soggy wash of CGI swill plumped up with foolish pretensions and belabored stupidity’. It registers as a mental illness because of a ‘complete denial of reality and the repeated assumption that future results will proceed from identical initial conditions.’

Dr. Oliver Patrician visited the Studio Exec clinic to speak EXCLUSIVELY about the new condition and in doing so ‘raise awareness’:

We have seen people again and again come with this. They expect Watchmen to be good: and it isn’t. Then they expect Sucker Punch to be good. Again, not great, or good even. Then they go to see Man of Steel and despite repeated warnings and Zack Snyder’s name appearing prominently on publicity materials, they expect it to be great and it isn’t. This leads us to Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and the strange phenomena that people were still expecting it to be good. At this point, we felt as a body that we ought to step in and diagnose this as an actual condition. Hopefully in the future people who expect a Zack Snyder film to be good will be able to seek treatment in good time.

Why is this condition so widespread?

In a word 300. People thought it was good. Competent. Arresting. And there are moments in all of Zack Snyder’s films but the arc of anticipation, excitement, disappointment and anger; denial, betrayal and grief has become so obviously predictable as to constitute a psychosis.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice will be banned in many countries following this news.

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