HOLLYWOOD – The Exec talks exclusively with Barbara Broccoli about James Bond.
Barbara Broccoli, producer of the James Bond films talked with The Studio Exec on a very revealing Zoom call.
– Hello? Barbara? Can you point your camera upwards please? All I can see is the white cat on your lap.
‘Zat will not be possible, I am afraid. You will look at my cat, Blofeld. You will see his face only, you will not see my face, muahahahaha.’
– Um, ok. But, anyway Barbara, thank you so much for agreeing to talk with me.
‘You are most welcome, Meester Exec. It is always a pleasure talking to such a… deestinguished gentleman with taste and deescretion, muahahahaha.’
– Thank you. If you don’t mind me saying, Barbara, I didn’t realise you spoke with such a mysterious, non-specific Eastern European accent?
‘You must be careful, number 2, because many people have said zis before and not many have lived to tell za tale.‘
– Are you able to confirm the final release date for No Time To Die?
‘Yes, number 2, I can. It will be released in 2025, but only after we have cast, shot and released the next Bond film. As a result, will we finally be rid of dat damned Daniel Craig and his most excellent Meester Bond, muahahahahah.’
– Why do you want to keep us from seeing Daniel Craig’s final film as Bond?
‘Because it is too good. For years, I masterminded za demise of Meester Bond with Piz Bronzan and his smarmy, tongue in cheek comedy. As a result I had Basil Fawlty as R, a silly inveesible car and surfing a god damned tsunami! That was really sheet, muahahahahah.’
‘Then we make Casino Royale and people pay millions because of Craig in his sexy swimming cosy. They pay millions because of his muscles and good acting. As a result, he insists on Sam bloody Mendes to make the films and they are actually good. Eet makes me sick, so I am taking control back and I will make them sheet again. Muahahahahahahahahah.’