HOLLYWOOD – Ben Affleck has frequently been seen as emblematic of the oncoming apocalypse as the rough beast of Revelations slopes its way towards Bethlehem to be born once more and the seven trumpets will sound and the seven seals be broken.
But other commentators have regarded the millennialist obsession as little more than a crazy joke. However, even the soberest minds have begun to declare themselves preoccupied by the appearance of certain portends in the Daredevil’s career.
Richard Dawkins – world famous botherer of God botherers everywhere, recently stated:
That the Jersey Girl and Pearl Harbor star can actually direct a film came as a surprise but then his films have shocked me by being “Not bad.” Gone Baby Gone and The Town were both at least decent if not actually quite good. Look, I have a brain the size of Mercury, but even I can’t understand how the same man who chose to do Gigli could be in the running for an Oscar with Argo.
Fellow brain box and sceptic, Sam Harris, admitted to being baffled by Affleck’s success – “And I understand Quantum Physics.” However, many conservative Christians have seen in Affleck’s career arc the onset of the Rapture, when the Saved will be taken and the sinful left. Billy-Bob Billybob pastor of the High Hairline Church of West Lindsay commented:
Well, shucks if it ain’t the end of the world and the toppling of the mighty and an overturning of the natural order when a best director nomination for Ben Affleck is announced then I don’t know what is. Hallelujah!
Dawkins added – “As much as it pains me, the evidence is there – and the evidence is convincing.”