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Saturday 20 July 2019
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EMPIRE TO REASSESS ITS SWITCH LOCATION POLICY

EMPIRE TO REASSESS ITS SWITCH LOCATION POLICY

WASHINGTON – Empire issues order to review all switch locations.

The Galactic Empire has announced that it is to review how it locates its switches at all major facilities, following a recent attack on the planet of Scarif. The Grand Moff Tarkin spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec via hologram:

It’s obvious that following the last incursion by the rebel scum that we are making it far too easy for them. The attack on Scarif was facilitated by what can only be described as a random distribution of important switches and control panels around the main base. Some of them were even outside armored bunkers. When surely inside would have been a better option. We’ve tried putting some vital controls on the end of gantries high above the ground, hoping that any rebel might get dizzy but to be honest they seem to enjoy the challenge. Still, I’m confident we’ll overcome them.

On another note, how do you feel about your CGI enhancements?

It’s becoming quite a club, isn’t it? Tron’s Jeff Bridges, the young Arnold Terminator, the dead-eyed children of Polar Express, we’ve all been Zemeckised! I can’t say I’m over the moon. But that isn’t a moon anyway. It’s a space station.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story out now.

 

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