DUNCAN JONES TO DIRECT MINECRAFT MOVIE
LONDON – Warcraft director, Duncan Jones, will dip his wick into the world of online games once again after signing on to direct the long-awaited Minecraft movie. But judging by this leaked synopsis of the script, those expecting a faithful adaptation of the global phenomenon better prepare themselves for bitter disappointment:
Minecraft: The Movie
Luke is 6 years old. A few months ago, his naive parents, in a bid to get half an hour of peace and quiet allowed him to download Minecraft pocket edition on their iPhone. Little did they know that this simple act of kindness would plunge their child and their world, into madness.
Now Luke wakes up every morning in his Minecraft pyjamas, puts on his Minecraft hat and demands to play Minecraft surrounded by his Minecraft toys whilst watching Minecraft videos on youtube.
His parents, quickly realising their child has become obsessed attempt to wean him off the game by offering alternatives such as reading, colouring books and outdoor sporting activities but these options are hastily dismissed as being ‘boring’ in comparison. All attempts to remove the iPhone from the clutches of the child are met with wails and screams and cries of ‘I hate you’. Faced with living with this irate monster in their midst, the parents consider persuading their child to take up less addictive pastimes such as smoking cigarettes and mainlining heroin, but to no avail.
Finally, for the sake of their beloved son they decide they have no choice but to wait until he is sleeping, creep out into the garden and throw their phones into a makeshift bonfire. Unfortunately, just as they about to cast their devices into the flames, Luke appears from behind and pushes them into the pyre. He is found the next day beside their charred bodies by a neighbour silently playing Minecraft on an ashy iPhone. The authorities declare it a tragic accident and Luke is sent to foster parents. His nominated psychologist suggests Luke should be allowed to play Minecraft as much as he wants ,for the time being, because he has created an emotional connection between the game and his recently deceased family. His unsuspecting and naive foster parents agree to give him a few months before attempting to wean him off it.
Luke is sitting on a bed in his new bedroom, alone, playing on the iPhone, expressionless, emotionless. The camera moves closer to him, a little closer, closer, closer, CLOSER.
The screen goes black.