DRUNK J.K. ROWLING ADMITS POTTER MISTAKE

jk rowling



LONDON – J.K. Rowling today admitted that her ending for the Harry Potter series with Harry marrying Ginny Weasley and Ron marrying Hermoine Granger. The author met the Studio Exec in London’s exclusive drinking haunt the Punchinello Club where she was well into her third White Russian. 

‘It’s all a load of f*cking bullshit,’ she shouts.

I was trying to figure out a way of not doing what I thought everyone thought I wanted to do and so what I did ended up being what everyone thought I’d do but not as good as it would have been if I’d ignored everyone and just done what I wanted to in the first place. Hey! Yeah, you! Two more and this time don’t go to Vladivostok for the vodka.   

So what ending did you want?

What? Oh yeah. Potter. Well, I think the whole series was about parallel lives and secret identities being kept from a boringly conformist world. So that was obviously subtext for Harry being gay.  He marries Ginny because he really wants to marry Ron. And Ron marries Hermininyonyny because frankly he’s grateful to get anything. I mean, have you seen Rupert Grint? Ha ha ha. How’s your White Russian?

It’s delicious.

So in a way he did marry Ron but I think for Harry to be truly admirable and for the journey to be complete he should have fully realized his sexuality. I mean it’s that secret that he’s fighting all the way throughout the books. Voldemort is a symbol of sexual repression. I even called him Him Who Cannot Be Named for the love of all things Irish! Thinking about it, it’s almost too f*cking obvious. But do you know how stupid people are?

No.

A lot.

Have you any plans to continue the series and remedy these mistakes? 

Yeah and no. I mean yeah. I’ve written some pretty steamy stuff because to be honest with you I really like the idea of hardcore gay sex. I think it’s I don’t know nice. I mean I picture things. But I’m not sure my audience will be ready for it so for the moment, I’m just going to keep it in the drawer. Or leak it online under a false name. Oh, I love you. You’re like my best friend in the whole wide world.

Harry Potter and the Unicorn of Rainbows will be released in 2016. 

 

(Visited 67 times, 1 visits today)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.