trump sesame street

NEW YORK –  Donald Trump has confirmed he will guest star on an upcoming episode of Sesame Street.

“I’m excited to do the show. It’s an institution and when my kids were growing up, their nanny used to watch it with them all the time,” said Trump.

I think it’s important that children get to know me as I’m going to be their President. I want them to get inspired by my story. I’m the American dream personified. Just an average guy brought up in wealth and privilege who inherited millions of dollars. You know, a lot of these kids that watch the show, their parents will be on crack and welfare so they need a role model like me.

Trump went on to say that he issued certain demands to the producers of Sesame Street before he signed up:

I told them I wouldn’t do anything with Oscar the Grouch. I’m pretty sure he’s a Mexican and let’s be honest, does a garbage can count as a fixed abode? I’d like to see that guy’s green card, let me tell you. Then there’s Count Von Count. I know a source high up in the NSA who assures me that this character used to spy on the United States on behalf of East Germany. I mean sure, the cold war is over, but I could never trust a guy like that. I’ve got no time for him.

Asked about his recent comments regarding Big Bird, Trump was candid:

As I said, I’ve got nothing against the Chinese. They built the railroads and they make great noodles but have you ever seen an eight-foot chinaman with feathers? I’m suspicious. How do I know he’s not from North Korea, those people all look exactly the same!


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