DONALD TRUMP DROPS OUT OF ELECTION BECAUSE MEGYN KELLY WILL BE THERE

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WASHINGTON – Former TV reality star Donald Trump has dropped out of the race to be the next Republican candidate for the US presidency.

The surprise move came following a no-show at the Fox hosted debate yesterday evening. Mr. Trump had cited the presence of the ‘lightweight’ reporter Megyn Kelly as well as the pronouncements by Fox News boss Roger Ailes as his motivation for that decision. The property tycoon, who was ahead in the polls is a popular presence on social media which is expected to rise this year. Trump attended an event to raise money for a veterans charity instead and despite his absence it has been claimed that he won the debate anyway. However, in a statement released by the Trump camp yesterday saying that Mr. Trump was withdrawing his candidacy:

We have tried to run a fair campaign, but I have discovered that even if I were to win the candidacy of the Republican party I would be forced as a Presidential candidate to endure more debates with Megyn Kelly and she might also be involved with the coverage on election night. I cannot put up with her micro-aggressions and I have already talked to Roger Ailes – who remains despite everything a good friend – and he has told me that Fox will not provide trigger warnings before that woman appears on the screen.

Mr. Trump refused to say whether or not he would be running as an independent candidate but it is believed that such a decision would be highly unlikely.

One top analyst told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

The man is shattered. I mean he’s a wreck. The amount of hostility he has had to put up with and the protesters at his rallies, something that doesn’t seem to happen to other candidates. You see this big blustering asshole with this huge blustering mouth, but Mr. Trump in private moments is a very delicate flower that needs nurturing and watering and a little sunshine. You know how he relaxes? He reads Marcel Proust in the original French.

With Donald Trump off the ticket, Ted Cruz now looks like a front runner. God have mercy on our souls.

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2 thoughts on “DONALD TRUMP DROPS OUT OF ELECTION BECAUSE MEGYN KELLY WILL BE THERE”

  1. Really! I thought this one of your gag articles. This gigantic blowhard dropped out because little Megyn hurt his feelings. Are you friggin kidding me? I am f#$%king speechless!

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