HOLLYWOOD – Disney’s Pirates Of The Caribbean will never end.
Disney’s Pirates Of The Caribbean Franchise will continue forever, according to producer, Jerry Bruckheimer.
Jerry Bruckheimer, made the announcement dressed in a full Mickey Mouse costume in a high pitched voice:
“Hi everybody ha-ha! On behalf of Walt Disney Studios that your favourite Pirate based franchise will return in a never-ending supply of movie adventures. In order to make sure we keep churning out these money machines, Disney have bought an island from struggling billionaire Richard Branson at a steal. Because of the tax breaks, we can film around the clock on the island. Ha-ha! There’s no unions on the newly named Disney Island Of Dreams (all rights reserved), just desperate writers, actors, crew members and CGI artists.
According to the actuaries, we can churn out a new Pirates film approximately every 4 months. With the god given gift that is CGI, we don’t even need Johnny Depp, who isn’t entirely ‘on-brand’ right now. Ha-ha! We can just cut and paste his face onto some guy staggering around the screen in a stupid pirate costume, looking like Adam Ant on ketamine.
Now we have Disney+, we are also proud to announce an all-new 24 hour rolling reality show that will follow the filming of the Pirates movies. We’ll follow the trials and tribulations of all the cast and the crew. Who stays, who gets fired by Mickey at the end of every week. We think people will lap it. Think Truman Show crossed with Love Island. We’re gonna call it, They Shoot Pirates, Don’t They? Ha-ha!”