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Tuesday 21 January 2020
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DAVID LYNCH OPENS A DRIVING SCHOOL

DAVID LYNCH OPENS A DRIVING SCHOOL

HOLLYWOOD – Times have been hard for David Lynch, director of The Elephant Man, Dune and Blue Velvet.

He lost all his money in the great Transcendental Meditation scam of 2006 and was even reduced to directing a concert movie for eighties revival band Duran Duran, but luckily hope is on the way and the Lynchster (as he prefers to be known) is bouncing back in his own inimtable Eraserhead-ish way by opening a Driving School in Scotland.

The Mulholland Drive Driving School opened for business earlier this week in the city of Glasgow in Scotland, which is north of Great Britain in England. 

When we spoke to Mr. Lynch, he seemed cheerfully keen on his new venture:

I got the idea from watching Breaking Bad. He gets a car wash. And I get a driving school. Of course, I don’t have a meth lab yet, but that’s only a matter of time. 

Customers seemed to be bemused by their unconventional instructor. Tam Holloway (19) said: 

We were practicing my emergency stop and all I can say is I’ve never been so unnerved and unsettled while at the same time effective. 

Sally McParland (21) said:

He asked me if I wanted to go for a ride and I said ‘That’s why I was here’. And he said, ‘why are you here?’ And I said to go for a ride and he said ‘A ride! What a great idea! Let’s hit the effing road!’

Nancy Barstow (41) said: 

He’s very patient. I’m an adult learner and so I get nervous but he’s very relaxed and then somehow when we were doing parallel parking he dipped into my inner most nightmares. Which was nice.

David Lynch’s Mulholland Drive Driving School is open for business Mondays to Saturdays.

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