Frozen 2

HOLLYWOOD – After weeks of tense negotiation Lost and Prometheus scribe Damon Lindelof has revealed that he has signed up to write the eagerly anticipated Frozen 2.

“It’s my dream gig,” said a giddy Lindelof:

I’m a huge fan of the original and it’s a massive challenge to follow up such a beloved and financially successful movie. I must confess, I went through many drafts before I finally nailed it and now I’m just excited to see the results on the big screen.

Asked if he could reveal any details, Lindelof was hesitant:

Look,  Disney are very secretive about their projects and they’ll probably attempt to assassinate me if I talk but what the hell. In the sequel Princess Elsa goes in search of the source of her powers and ends up on a planet formally inhabited by an ancient race of aliens. She meets a cute squid-like creature, falls in love with a camp android voiced by Michael Fassbender and…well…let’s just say she gets to kick some serious Xenomorph ass.

Asked what inspired him to take the story in this bold new direction, Lindelof was vague:

Well it’s difficult to say. I’m a big fan of calamari so that might explain the squid but the rest just came from my mind, man. I don’t really know were these mad ideas come from but I’m just glad that God has blessed me with the ability to receive them.

The Studio Exec contacted Disney to confirm Lindelof is penning the script and their spokesman issued the following statement:

Mr Lindelof did approach us with a script but we didn’t think his vision for Frozen 2 was in line with ours. We are aware that due to a recent switch of medication Mr Lindelof is experiencing some ‘technical’ issues but we would like to state for the record that he is not involved in the project in any capacity. We would also like to state that the Disney cooperation does not assassinate people any more. In fact I’d don’t think we’ve even tortured anyone since 2007.

No, I tell a lie, it was 2008.

Frozen 2 is due for release in 2016.


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