curb your enthusiasm

HOLLYWOOD – The news that there would be a ninth season of Curb Your Enthusiasm was met with gleeful joy yesterday, upsetting the creator and star of the show Larry David.

Everyone’s favorite curmudgeon is back! Larry David will be complaining about how difficult it is to park and how awkward social situations can be for another season, although he has already threatened to withdraw the new season after the news of its imminence was greeted with enthusiasm by fans.

David told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

Firstly, the clue is in the Goddamned title. What are you not listening? Do I have to spell it out in bigger letters? Should I have called the show Just F*cking Die (Already) with the already in brackets? I don’t get it. This internet culture. You have everyone hooked on the news of what television is going to be on in six to eight months. There was a time we were just happy that something was good on tonight. Man buns!

But people are happy Larry!

Well, they shouldn’t be. People are happy? Of course they’re happy. They’re stupid. I mean: grown men wearing shorts. What is that about? The only people who ought to wear running shoes are people who go running and even then I don’t see why they can’t wear a sturdy pair of brown leather shoes. Indiana Jones went around the world, fighting Nazis, French archaeologists and Thuggees all in a pair of comfortable brown leather shoes and a decent pair of long trousers.

But what has that to do with anything?

Haven’t you seen my show? What has anything got to do with anything? Jesus Christ Exec! I feel like I’m going crazy here.

Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 9 will be broadcast on HBO.

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