CUMBERBATCH AND PEGG KILL AND EAT THE MADAGASCAR PENGUINS
HOLLYWOOD – Benedict Cumberbatch and Simon Pegg have been accused of hunting, capturing, killing and eating the real life penguins from the popular Dreamworks film series Madagascar.
The accusations is only the latest outrage to be blamed on the Jolly Bastards – the club formed by Charles Dance for British actors working in Hollywood. In the past they have been linked with the Tim Hiddleston swan murder affair (of which he was eventually cleared) as well as many unsolved homicides from the 1980s. The latest incident followed weeks of increasingly vitriolic criticism of the penguins of Madagascar by both Pegg and Cumberbatch. ‘I hate those penguins,’ said the actor who has given his voice to Smaug in the latest installment of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. ‘Irritating flightless shit sticks.’
The World’s End star Simon Pegg used an interview with Esquire to express ‘my contempt for the lazy way in which the penguins of Madagascar fall back on easy stereotypes of Englishness for comic purposes. That’s my job.’
Following a burglary in the penguin compound at Dreamworks, the penguins were found to be missing.
Cumberbatch admitted to having eaten them to the police, but they were so charmed by his accent they forgot to press charges. Likewise, Pegg was open about having strangled and grilled the penguins, saying they were delicious with ‘Tabasco sauce, though chewy’. However, his full and unnecessarily detailed confession was ruled inadmissible because ‘of his hilariously self-deprecating sense of humor’.
A spokesperson for Dreamworks said that they were devastated and refused to comment on how the loss of the animals would effect plans for a sequel. ‘We are in grief,’ said the spokesperson. ‘How can you even think of such a trivial question at a time like this?’
Madagascar 4: The Search for the Penguins will be released in 2015.