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Monday 13 July 2020
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CORRECTION: KENDALL JENNER IS BEING FLOWN TO MINNEAPOLIS

CORRECTION: KENDALL JENNER IS BEING FLOWN TO MINNEAPOLIS

HOLLYWOOD – Kendall Jenner – and not Kylie Jenner – sent as special envoy to Minneapolis.

Here is a revised article with the correct identification. We apologise for the pain and suffering we have caused. Seriously, I can’t even… I mean for crying out loud. They look totally different. And they have utterly different personalities and brands and stuff. Anyway.

Kendall Jenner is on a plane on her way to Minneapolis at the invitation of President Donald Trump. A source close to the White House said that the reality star will have the full backing of the federal government and the Pesio Cola company.

First, the President has often remarked on how Ms. Jenner ought to be employed. He found the advertisement she made for Pepsi very impressive. The president believes that she can bring peace where there is discord. We’re hoping to hear some exciting news very soon.

Jenner herself told the Exec that she’s looking forward to getting in there and doing her bit.

I’m not afraid of getting my hands dirty. Unless that is you mean by dirty, actually dirty. That I won’t do. Oh no.

Asked whether she supported Black Lives Matter, she said:

Black lives matter, all lives matter, lives matter. We could say that couldn’t we? Moreover, it’d be quicker.

The move comes as the Trump administration reels with a series of problems. The Coronavirus has killed 100,000 people causing the President to leap into action. He is due to issue an executive order against twitter. Jenner’s universal popularity is sure to go down well with the electorate. In fact, she is being touted as a possible running mate, should Vice President Pence somehow disappear.

Following her trip to Minneapolis, Kendall is set to return to Jerusalem to continue her work alongside Jared Kushner bringing peace to the Middle East via KFC.

Kylie and Kendall Jenner are available.

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