emma watson

HOLLYWOOD – Yesterday, we published the news that Emma Watson had agreed (finally) to star in Fifty Shades of Grey as Anastasia Steele, the young University student who becomes the ping pong playing partner of business man and sado-masochist Christian Grey.

We are extremely sorry to report there were some errors in the original article which we seek to correct now (after the jump).

  1. There is no ping pong in the story. Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey at no point play ping pong. Ping pong has no relevance here, except at a push as double entendre – and even then it would be very difficult to squeeze in and could cause some to gasp.
  2. We stated that the film was to be based on the ‘E.L. James masterpiece’. We have since discovered that the book cannot be fairly described as a masterpiece unless a) you don’t ever read books; b) you don’t understand the meaning of the word ‘masterpiece’ or c) you’re being sarcastic.
  3. Emma Watson has agreed to appear in Fifty Shades of Grey, but she will NOT play Anastasia Steele. Instead, she will play Christian Grey. Anastasia Steele will be played either by Benedict Cumberbatch or Tom Hiddleston. Both actors have said they are willing to play the role and producers believe the cross dressing, gender bending that Watson is insisting on will make the film ‘sexier than seeing your father dressed in your mother’s underwear, especially if you have very sexy parents’.
We apologize once more for any confusion caused.
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