Christian Bale Tom Cruise

HOLLYWOOD – Christian Bale loses his temper about Tom Cruise in a secret on set recording.

In an exclusive recording obtained by The Studio Exec, Hollywood chameleon Christian Bale loses his temper about Tom Cruise in an on set rant.

Secret Batman Loses Temper

While filming top secret new scenes for the latest Batman film, Batman: Bat Boogaloo, a secret recording has been leaked of Bale losing his shit over a secret recording being leaked of Tom Cruise losing his shit while filming Mission Impossible 7: More Impossible Than The Previous One.

Christian Bale’s Tom Cruise Rant

The Studio Exec has obtained access to a recording where Bale screams at a Second AD, a term for someone who is basically a runner that shouts at extras. See, we know about films and stuff. In the recording Bale screams, ‘Who the fuck is Tom Cruise anyway? I shit ‘im. He finks he can come over to England, employ loads of people for his film and then yell at them when they don’t distance properly? What a bell end. I’m the daddy around here. If anyone is going to shout at these minions, it’s gonna be me.’

Christian Bale Is Proper ‘Ard

He went on to rant, ‘I’m Charles Foster- no hang on, that aint right. I’m Christian Fucking Bale! I’m proper ‘ard. I could kick that little prick’s ass all over Gotham City… and parts of Metropolis. If any mother fucker is doing the secretly recorded screaming around here, it’s me. Now give me a hand to tip this catering table over… blimey, it’s heavy… OW… I got a splinter in thumb… shit that hurts. Nurse? Nurse

Cruise Rants Back

Tom Cruise was then secretly recorded and leaked ranting back at Christian Bale while on set for his new film Napoleon Bonaparte: Time Travelling, ‘Christian said what? That piece of shit. This is my set and if anyone is screaming at the Assistant Directors [Studio Exec – see, told you], it’ll be me. Now help me tip this coffee table over. Shit, that’s heavy. Ow! I got a splinter. Mimi? I mean, Mummy? I mean, NURSE?!’

This secret recording is scheduled to be leaked next week and is in no way an attempt to boost investor, shareholder and market confidence in the studios involved in the production of these films.

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