HOLLYWOOD – The motion picture industry as a whole is shocked and saddened today by the sudden death of Charlie Chaplin. He was 125 years old.
Chaplin was only three weeks into principle photography of his 3D follow up to his classic 1940 ‘talkie’ The Great Dictator. The new movie The Great Dictator 2: Dictatin’ Never Sleeps saw the actor/director picking up the story of Hitler’s release from prison in 1985 and struggling to come to terms with a bamboozling new world full of hi-tech gadgets like arcade games. The plot synopsis provides a tantalising glimpse of what the movie would have looked like:
Emerging into the blinding light of 1985, the newly free Adolf Hitler makes a quick decision to move on and integrate into the modern world. Scraping together the remainder of his hidden/stolen wealth the former leader of a genocidal army of darkness decides to open a Roller Disco on the outskirts of Berlin. ‘Rollin’ Reich’ proves to be a huge success with the disenfranchised German youth and Adolf is initially satisfied with the meagre income it provides…but old habits die hard. As he begins to amass a faithful following of mullet sporting teens with a hunger to wheel to the beat, the old warmonger begins a ruthless campaign to undermine all local teen-focused businesses…and eventually co-ops the ‘Rollin’ Reich’ gang into a regime of intimidation, protection rackets, Jew hating and roller disco expansion. In eye popping 3D and to the dizzying thrusting score of German underground roller pop group Dai Geltumstrasse, we witness a true master of Cinema at work, a thrill ride of cutting edge choreography, drama and special effects. The Great Dictator 2: Dictatin’ Never Sleeps will be the blockbuster of summer 2015!
Co-star Shia Labeof who was playing the part of embattled assistant manager of Rollin Reich Hans Sheiter had this to say of his deceased mentor, speaking from a tasteful black paper bag.
I’m bummed, really bummed. This guy was my mentor, he was bringing me back in a big way…he taught me things about my body I would never have known, new expressions, new feelings. When I worked with him I felt like a golden condor emerging from a cocoon of placental scum, know what I mean? Now I’m just sitting here in a bath of crab-sticks and lemonade feeling so un-famous; Can’t even masturbate, can’t feel, ping pong holds no interest any more.
The remaining footage is now the focus of a major bidding war between James Cameron who wants to digitally insert Chaplin into Avatar 3 and several perfume companies who want to pair the deceased star with Marilyn Monroe to sell fancy toilet water.