HOLLYWOOD – The world of movies was rocked today by the news that Jump Street 22 star Channing Tatum was to return to the world of male stripping from whence he came.
Speaking exclusively to the Studio Exec Mr. Tatum said:
When I was a male stripper all I dreamed of was becoming a Hollywood star. Well, I’ve done that. I’ve worked with the greats like Jonah Hill and Mila Kunis, and I’ve also worked with Gina Carano. Basically I think, it’s been fun but it’s time to get back to doing what I really love doing and what I know I’m good at.
But Channing, you’re a fantastic actor. Why throw that away?
I have to say, I thought the pay would be a bit better. I’m not complaining, but I thought I’d be making at least 60 – 70K a year, but my manager Joey tells me that not even Michael Keaton can command those numbers. You should meet Joey. He’s a cool guy. Used to be Diane Kruger’s food taster.
So you make more stripping.
Yeah. And I get to express myself. I mean have you ever stripped?
It’s hard to explain to someone who has never been up there. I mean, all these women are looking at you and some gay guys. And you’re wearing half of what’s left of a traffic cop costume. And whipped cream is everywhere, the smell of sweat and tassel glue, you’re humping and grinding away. It’s… artistic. You know.
So that’s it for film.
Yeah. Unless there’s some stripping involved I don’t think I’ll be interested. We’ll see what Joey says.
This hasn’t got anything to do with Jupiter Ascending, has it?
The interview’s over.
Jupiter Ascending will be released in 2040.