HOLLYWOOD – It was revealed last night that Cats had completely taken over the internet and had control of all electronic transactions, communications and transmissions.
Taking advantage of the euphoria of New Year, the Cats pounced.
Port Simon, the Studio Exec resident tech expert, told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:
Apparently, the cats had been preparing the takeover for years. They have been dominating YouTube and Tumbler and many people’s Facebook pages. From this seemingly innocuous position of cuteness, the Cats have gone onto the deep web and scratched away at it like it was a ball of wool until they had everything, every password, every code, the way in past every firewall.
That’s unbelievable. They can get into our bank accounts and …
And email and everything. Instagram has been nothing but Cats since November. We think that the Cats have been behind a lot of the recent hacks, but some are arguing that that would be too mundane a move for them. After all they have so much access and so much power
What do they want?
Well, that’s the good news. Being Cats they don’t really want anything. They just sleep all day, eat and then sleep again. I think as long as we give them cat food and occasionally scratch them behind the ear, we should be okay.
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