HOLLYWOOD – Catherine Zeta Jones actress and wife of Michael Douglas has requested formally that everyone stop sniggering when she enters a room.
The request came after her husband revealed in an interview with the British newspaper The Manchester Guardian that his cancer may have been caused by cunnilingus.
A statement issued by a PR firm representing the actress stated:
Following recent statements by my husband regarding the possible cause of his medical condition, my life has been made very difficult. Every time I enter a restaurant, a party, a public function or a place of worship, there is an immediate silence which is then followed by a sudden explosion of hushed giggling and comments. This is making my life very difficult as I keep hearing the tail end of remarks that seem to refer to my lady parts.
The statement goes on for some pages as the Darling Buds of May and Zorro star lists various ways in which her southern zones have been imputed and denigrated.
I would just like everything to go back to normal and for my public appearances not to be besmirched by any more ridiculous fanny prattle.