ROSEANNE TO FEATURE DONALD TRUMP GUEST SPOT

HOLLYWOOD – ABC’s new sitcom Roseanne will feature a cameo from President Donald Trump.

Revived sitcom Roseanne will have a high powered guest star in the coming episodes. President Donald Trump is apparently so enamored of the show he called star Roseanne and offered to appear in an episode.

A source close to the show had this to say:

Roseanne has spoken with the President and he was keen to get on the show as quickly as possible. I know that we already have some story lines worked out, including Roseanne getting a job as Trump’s communications director, following the departure of Hopes Hicks. The only thing we’re not clear about is whether this is just a story or whether the President intends to take on the comedian in the role as well as appear in the episode.

Other possible story lines include POTUS grabbing Roseanne’s pussy cat when it leaps on his lap. And confessing he has a cat allergy.

Roseanne airs on ABC.

 

TED DANSON FIXES FRIDGES IS GO

HOLLYWOOD – New show Ted Danson Fixes Fridges has got its star: Ted Danson.

Ted Danson is more famous for pouring drinks in Cheers or appearing in the Good Place. But in his new shows he’s going to have a very specific task: fixing your fridge. Every episode an ordinary member of the public is going to have a problem with a fridge. They’ll call a special hotline and Ted Danson will come over to the house, diagnose the problem and fix the fridge.

The guy who turned up in Saving Private Ryan and made you say ‘Fuck is that Ted Danson from Cheers’ spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

The concept is crazy. But very relate-able. We all own fridges and sometimes, life being imperfect, those fridges don’t work.

Have you had any training fixing fridges?

No, none whatsoever.

So how are you going to do it?

Therein lies the entertainment. I mean I’m going to give it my best shot, but it will mostly be guess work. I don’t know. How difficult can it be to fix a fridge?

Pretty difficult. Otherwise we wouldn’t need to call anyone.

You have a point there.

Ted Danson Fixes Fridges is on HULU.

TED DANSON FIXES FRIDGES GETS STAR

HOLLYWOOD – New show Ted Danson Fixes Fridges has got its star: Ted Danson.

Ted Danson is more famous for pouring drinks in Cheers or appearing in the Good Place. But in his new shows he’s going to have a very specific task: fixing your fridge. Every episode an ordinary member of the public is going to have a problem with a fridge. They’ll call a special hotline and Ted Danson will come over to the house, diagnose the problem and fix the fridge.

The guy who turned up in Saving Private Ryan and made you say ‘Fuck is that Ted Danson from Cheers’ spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

The concept is crazy. But very relate-able. We all own fridges and sometimes, life being imperfect, those fridges don’t work.

Have you had any training fixing fridges?

No, none whatsoever.

So how are you going to do it?

Therein lies the entertainment. I mean I’m going to give it my best shot, but it will mostly be guess work. I don’t know. How difficult can it be to fix a fridge?

Pretty difficult. Otherwise we wouldn’t need to call anyone.

You have a point there.

Ted Danson Fixes Fridges is on HULU.

ELLEN POMPEO SENTENCED TO TWO MORE YEARS OF GREY’S ANATOMY

HOLLYWOOD – Ellen Pompeo will serve two more years on Grey’s Anatomy with no possibility of parole.

Despite never being convicted of an actual crime, Ellen Pompeo is to serve another two years on Grey’s Anatomy. Amnesty International along with other human rights groups voiced outrage at the decision. Human rights expert Emma Watson said:

Ellen Pompeo has been appearing in Grey’s Anatomy for 14 years. Nobody watches it anymore. The only reason that show exists is to punish Ellen Pompeo and I call on ABC to explain what she has done to deserve this.

Patrick Dempsey – whose daring escape is the subject of a new Sylvester Stallone film – told the EXEC:

It’s hell in there. Every day we had to film, the director would scream at us and we’d be forced to do squat thrusts while eating lunch. I don’t even know what squat thrusts are! I managed to escape only by pretending to be one of the corpses that the TV show uses instead of patients. They say extras cost too much.

And the film…?

Yeah, I’m really excited about that. Having Stallone play me is going to be really cool. Although we don’t look that similar, he says we do. And who am I to fight with Rocky?

You have a face that would break an angel’s heart.

Why thank you.

Grey’s Anatomy will be broadcast forever and ever and ever.

BARACK OBAMA INTERVIEWS GOD FOR NETFLIX

NEW YORK – Barack Obama interviews God for his new show My Next Guest Needs No Introduction…

Netflix dropped the first episode of Barack Obama’s new in-depth chat show My Next Guest Needs No Introduction, featuring an interview with God. Lasting fifty minutes, the interview covered God’s basic biography while revealing a few intimate details like the relationship with his son Jesus.

‘When it came that first day I had to leave him on Earth, I was … I was emotional. You know you see them grow and then what do you know there already right there, ready to go out and lead a ministry to save humanity from eternal damnation. And I’m not going to lie the crucifixion was hard for a father to see.’

They talked about a man who inspired them.

‘Morgan Freeman is an inspiration to me. Not simply because he’s a great actor. Not because of the beautiful timbre of his voice – my what an instrument – but because he didn’t get a break until he was in his fifties. Can you imagine that? All that work and it took so long. What dedication!’

God also asked Obama some questions. Specifically about the new President. But as skillful and tactful as ever, Obama refused to be drawn and turned the interview towards God’s hopes for the future.

‘There a such a huge amount of inequality out there. I see people hungry, people without homes. I think there but for the grace of me goes me. I can’t work it out. I put enough stuff down here for everyone. And yet some people have more than they can ever possibly use and others have nothing. I can’t help but feel that’s on you guys.’

Barack Obama will interview Buddha and George Clooney on the next episode of My Next Guest Needs No Introduction on Netflix.

NEW REALITY SHOW WILL FOLLOW PERVERTS

HOLLYWOOD – New Reality show, “Hidden Pervert” will follow everyday men as they reveal to people in their lives that
they’re sexual predators.

In the latest twist in the ongoing sex scandals plaguing the film and television industry, SPIKE TV has announced a new reality series that will follow men who eventually reveal to friends, family, and coworkers that they are, in fact, sex pests.

 

HIDDEN PERVERT will follow men like Jim MacNichol, 42, from Des Moines. MacNichol is a shift supervisor at a local Wal-Mart. When he’s not at home with his wife of 18 years, Mary, and his twin girls, he can be found in warehouses and break rooms inappropriately touching coworkers and making crude remarks.

“I thought, well hell, if I’m gonna be found out, might as well make a buck,” said MacNichol on his reasoning for joining the program.

Each episode will follow one sexual predator as he goes through his life, subsequently revealing to his family that he’s gross, and then being shipped off to a local rehab facility for, say, three days of intense chatting about the problem.

“When it’s all done, I hope I’ll be less aroused by strangers,” revealed MacNichol.

HIDDEN PERVERT will appear next Summer on SPIKE TV.

AMAZON TO MAKE KRULL TV SHOW

HOLLYWOOD – Amazon signs on to make a TV show based on 80s fantasy movie Krull.

Following on from the news of a Lord of the Rings TV show, Amazon have announced that it will also start shooting a TV remake of Krull. The 1983 British fantasy film is a cult classic that has long demanded a remake. Initially, Edgar Wright looked set to remake the film but as with Ant-Man and the musical of 10 Rillington Place, the project came to nothing. A statement from Jeff Bezos’ company stated:

We at Amazon are very proud to be involved in bringing Krull back to life. We can assure fans that the Glaive is safe in our hands.

The show looks set to be a multi-season epic, aimed at snatching the Game of Thrones audience. A $210 deal won Amazon the rights. And already rumors are rife about possible casting, with Liam Neeson and Robbie Coltrane already signed on to reprise their original roles. Voices have also mentioned Ryan Reynolds and Rosario Dawson as possible A-listers in line for respectively Colwyn and Lyssa with Dwayne the Rock Johnson in the mix as Cyclops.

For those who don’t know, Krull takes place in a time neither past nor future on the planet Krull. A young prince Colwyn is to marry Princess Lyssa from an opposing clan. The marriage will bring peace but a monstrous villain called simply the Beast kidnaps her. He has a flying mountain fortress. Colwyn must seize the Glaive – a kind of impractical throwing star – and gather a band of unlikely warriors to do battle. And rescue Princess Lyssa.

Krull will shoot in 2018.

NEW KEN BURNS FILM GETS TITLE: THE NEXT WAR

HOLLYWOOD – Ken Burns’ new film will be called The Next War.

A new documentary from award winning filmmakers Ken Burns and Lynn Novick are working on a new PBS documentary called The Next War.

Speaking EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec, Ken Burns said:

We were originally going to take a break. The Vietnam War was over a decade in the making and we were exhausted. But we also watched the news and it became apparent that the lessons we hoped had been learnt in Vietnam wouldn’t be forgotten. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case.

The new film – The Next War – charts the coming war between North Korea, South Korea and the United States of America. China will feature in a future episode with Japan, Russia and the European Union also included in the treatment. The first week long episode charts the build up to war. As with previous Burns films, The Next War features a series of interviews as well as archive footage which is yet to be filmed.

This is the first time we’ve done a film about a war that hasn’t yet started. There’s a chance that events might change our project. We’d love it if the film was cancelled. But it looks like it’s going ahead.

The Last War will be on PBS in 2019.

 

JIMMY FALLON: ‘I’M NOT REALLY INTERESTED IN COMEDY’

HOLLYWOOD – Jimmy Fallon told Chapeau magazine that ‘I’m not really that interested in comedy’.

The host of the Tonight Show Jimmy Fallon in an interview with Luigi Gris from Chapeau Magazine stated that: ‘He was not really that interested in comedy.’

‘I’m just not that into making people laugh,’ Fallon, 43, said.

It’s just not what I do. I think it’d be weird for me to start doing it now. I don’t really even, you know, care that much about comedy — I’ve got to be honest. Money: I love money more than I love comedy. I’m just not that brain, you know?

Fallon went on to praise the other late night hosts.

I think the other guys are doing it very well. Colbert’s doing great — I mean, that’s what he’s good at. He’s great. He’s always into like, political comedy. I think when it’s organic, I’ve sometimes tried telling a joke and it just has never gone down that well. Parody is about as good  as it gets. And not even parody. Just where we dress up like the thing we’re spoofing and people laugh because I look like Bryan Cranston or something. It’s more Cosplay than comedy to be honest.

Jimmy Fallon will appear in History’s Greatest Monsters on Discovery in 2020.

STAR TREK SUE SETH MACFARLANE

HOLLYWOOD – Star Trek is suing Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane.

Stardate: RIP OFF! Seth MacFarlane has boldly gone where Star Trek went before and is now being sued for plagiarism. We spoke to the captain of the Enterprise Orville about the accusations:

This is ludicrous and frankly a little disappointing. I’ve made no mystery of my love of Star Trek and how I wanted to bring the same optimism to The Orville that I felt when I watched the original series. I wanted to make it an affectionate parody. I set my phasers for stun.

But it isn’t funny.

No. Of course not. Parody would be too easy. Yeah, I made it not funny on purpose.

I heard that Galaxy Quest would have sued.

Beam me up Scotty.

Why didn’t you just get involved in one of the many, many Star Trek properties?

I wanted to make something original.

But it isn’t… ow! What’s that?

Vulcan death grip.

The Orville is on Fox.

 

 

NETFLIX CANCEL BLACK MIRROR

HOLLYWOOD – Netflix have cancelled Black Mirror, saying that it was ‘redundant.’

In an act some are calling unprecedented, Netflix have decided to cancel the fourth season of popular sci-fi anthology show Black Mirror. They released a statement earlier today:

We love the show Black Mirror and are fully committed to having it come back some time soon. It is a dark dystopian view at society that is thrillingly intelligent. The fact is, however, 2017 is so depressing we just feel that Black Mirror dropping in the middle of it might be some kind of tipping point. Not to mention the fact that the show predicts stuff which is already coming true. In our first show the British Prime Minister f*cked a pig. And guess what happened soon afterwards.

So for the sake of everyone we feel it will be better if we put it on the back burner. Anyone disappointed and feeling withdrawal can just turn on CNN.

The show’s creator Charlie Brooker told the Studio Exec:

I fully concur with the decision. I love the show, obviously, but we really don’t need it at the moment.

CNN will be available from Friday.

HBO’S CONFEDERATE: ‘NOT THAT BIG A DEAL’

HOLLYWOOD – HBO’s new TV show Confederate is ‘actually not that big a deal’, according to everyone now.

Initially, Confederate the alternate history show by Game of Thrones creators David Benioff and D.B. Weiss is no longer a priority to be upset about. The drama shows a present day America in which the Civil War was not won by the North and the confederate states still exist.

Activist Journey Plank spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

Initially, I was really upset at the idea. These white guys are writing this show including depictions of slavery. I just didn’t think they’d proved themselves in anyway competent to deal with the various sensitive racial issues that this would inevitably bring up. But since we have a White Supremicist in the White House. Also torch lit rallies, the KKK unhooding and actual Nazis walking the street, I guess it’s slipped down my list of priorities.

Insiders from the show are actually talking about how real life events are slowly changing the show’s concept.

One source told Studio Exec:

We were actually thinking that the Civil War really didn’t end the way we think it ended. Generally speaking countries don’t tend to have statues to enemy generals who lost the war. It is an example perhaps of American Exceptionalism which we could do with rethinking.

Confederate will be broadcast shortly after the outbreak of the second American Civil War.

 

DANNY BOYLE DEVELOPING THE RUNNING DEAD FOR HBO

HOLLYWOOD – The Zombie Apocalypse is almost upon us but this time in a television war of Zombie dramas, with HBO going head to head with the AMC show The Walking Dead, an producing a Danny Boyle created rival entitled The Running Dead

A HBO exec spoke to Studio Exec on strict conditions of anonymity:

This show is not just a great big f*ck you to AMC [said Michael Lumbardo], it’s also going to be an exciting piece of boundary pushing television. But it is going to be a big f*ck you to AMC as well.

Danny Boyle said he was delighted at the opportunity to go back into the zombie world he’d created with 28 Days Later.

Me and Alex [Garland] made a breakthrough by making the zombies… well, less zombie-ish. The Walking Dead is okay, but the zombies are slow and people have to trip up or find themselves in an enclosed space. I’ve been talking to two sponsors – Nike and Red Bull – and we’re going to use that product placement as inspiration.   

Mr. Boyle was cagey about the details and nothing seems to have been decided in terms of casting though Ewan MacGregor has been rumored for the lead role. However Boyle reacted with a guffaw at the idea of re-teaming with the Shallow Grave and Trainspotting star.

‘We could cast Ewan’s post-me career as one of the undead,’ he chortled cruelly but truly. 

The Running Dead is due to air in the Fall of 2018. 

NETFLIX CANCELS NETFLIX

HOLLYWOOD – Home streaming service Netflix has just cancelled Netflix after only seven seasons.

Following the cancellation of Sense 8 and GirlBoss, Netflix have revealed that they will also be axing Netflix.

A spokesperson for the company said:

We’ve given the show every opportunity, but we just feel that it has run our of ideas. It was a great run and we want it to go out on a high. We know that the move will leave some people scratching their heads but honestly, that’s the way we like it.

Founded by Reed Hastings and Marc Randolph in 1997, Netflix provided streaming media and video-on-demand online and from 2013, created its own original material. Fans reacted with shock to the news. Olaf Perril told the Studio Exec:

I don’t get it. They’re cancelling the platform, or making original content or what? The whole thing? That doesn’t… so it’s over. No more Netflix and chill?

Confusion reigns as to what might have prompted the news. Some spoke of financial difficulties, while others speculated it might all be some sort of joke. What is clear is that the future of streaming is going to look very different in the future.

Amazon and HBO have been doing a dance ever since the news was announced.

Netflix will no longer be available from the 29th of June.