JAMES GUNN: 5 SUPERHEROES YOU WANT TO HAVE A MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION WITH

 

 

HOLLYWOOD – Hi, I’m James Gunn, director of Super, Slither and … oh yeah GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY. Now some of you might remember I got into a bit of hot water with a sexist and homophobic blog post I wrote back in 2011 entitled ’50 Superheroes You Most Want to Have Sex With’. I’ve apologized and I regret it very much, but Studio Exec gave me the opportunity to redress the balance with another post along similar lines and I jumped at the chance. So here are my 5 Superheroes I’d most like to have a meaningful conversation with.

1. Batwoman. I’d first of all love to apologise to her and say I’m fully aware that Lesbian women do not need/want ‘curing’, especially not by misogynists like Tony Stark. Am I right, sisters? Then I’d read some poetry with her. Sylvia Plath is one of my favourite poets. Or not. I mean she might not be into poetry. That’d be something we’d have to find out.

2. Gambit. Again I’d probably want to apologise first off the bat for calling him a ‘Cajun fruit’. Then we’d talk about something else. I don’t know anything really. Soccer, or movies. Ken Loach’s Sex and the City 3. Though why I said that one in particular, I don’t know. That’s just bullshit right there. We could talk about, like, Captain Phillips just as easily. Or The Expendables 3!

3. Pepper Potts. I’d love to talk to Pepper. I think she’d make a wonderful stand alone movie. So far we’ve just seen her making coffee and screaming and stuff. It’d be great for the world to appreciate her as the intelligent and fully rounded and deep human being she actually is. And who doesn’t want more Gwyneth Paltrow in the world, am I right?

4. Gamora. Obviously, she’s a strong woman and she is also one of the stars of my new movie. The Guardians of the Galaxy. It rocks.

5. The Black Widow. Because I’d totally f*ck her. Oh shit! I mean I’d talk to… we’d talk about… Dostoevsky or Charlotte Bronte or someone. We’d… or who am I kidding?

The Guardians of the Galaxy is out now.

5 FACTS WE LEARNED FROM COMIC-CON

SAN DIEGO – The Comic-Con Convention continues to provide amazing copy, with some amazing news coming out for film and TV fans. Here’s what we have learned so far.

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5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT COMIC-CON

SAN DIEGO – Comic-Con is off and having a lot of fun among the costumes, publicity material, panels, and lack of sex; but there are secrets and little known pieces of FACTRONICS that The Studio Exec have dug up and translated out of Dothraki and into English for your reading pleasure.

1  Comic-Con was started as a comedian convention in San Diego in 1978. Robin Williams, George Carlin and Richard Pryor were in the first panel, but after Billy Crystal and Jerry Seinfeld both branded it as ‘bullshit’, comedians stopped attending and the vacuum was filled by comic book fans who were – amazingly – adults!

2  Simon Pegg and Nick Frost made a film set in Comic-Con called Paul. Though the film was supposed to be about their love of geekdom, both actors were recorded recently saying how much they hate geeks and wished that ‘they would all go away and die’.

3  JJ Abrams frequently visits Comic-Con and wanders around totally undisturbed by fans, due to the fact that he can’t be seen because of the lens flare that surrounds him.

4  The official language of Comic-Con is still Klingon though many are now switching to Dothraki.  

5  Although costumes and Cosplay were initially voluntary, it is now compulsory and anyone caught in downtown San Diego without latex can be fined or forced to play some kind of athletic sport, like sex. 

For more FACTs CLICK HERE.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT STAR WARS EPISODE 7

LONDON – Everyone is looking forward to actually seeing J.J. Abrams’ Star Wars: Episode 7 but what about a load of FACTS from a galaxy far far away? What? Yes? Well okay then.

May the FACTS be with you!

1. The film will take place entirely on the forest moon Endor and all the characters will be Ewoks except for one who will be a Gungan.

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5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT MELISSA MCCARTHY

HOLLYWOOD – With new hit comedy Tammy in theaters, the Bridesmaids and The Heat actress Melissa McCarthy is once more kicking up a storm…. of laughter that is. But what do we really know about her?

The Studio Exec sent the FACT squad to find out.

1. When she was a child, a teacher once told Melissa McCarthy that she should stop clowning around and concentrate on her studies. We are delighted to report that that teacher committed suicide shortly after seeing Tammy

2. Melissa McCarthy’s grandfather is Senator Joe McCarthy, famed communist witch-hunter. Melissa – no friend to the followers of Comrade Marx – often warns co-stars about the dangers of the comintern and spends her Sundays writing detailed denunciations of what she sees as Un-American activities. 

3. Although Melissa McCarthy’s famous scene in Bridesmaids will go down in history as the funniest toilet joke in the history of gross out humor, her co-stars were not laughing as Melissa – ever keen on bringing what she calls ‘the Real’ to the screen, dosed them all with en-emetic medicines prior to the shoot.    

4. Melissa McCarthy is  well known for extracting tribute from her co-stars. Sandra Bullock got away with giving her a hunk of hair, but Jason Bateman lost a toe in what one insider described as ‘the most frightening wrap party I’ve ever been to’. 

5. As well as being a comedian, Melissa is also a keen burglar. With her husband Ben Falcone, she has broken into over one hundred residences and many say the crime wave of any given town goes up whenever a McCarthy film is shooting location nearby. 

For more FACTs Click HERE.

5 MORE FILMS ABOUT YVES SAINT LAURENT

PARIS – There will be five more films on the subject of iconic fashion designer Yves Saint Laurent in the next six months.

Two films came out in 2014 – Yves Saint Laurent directed by Jalil Lespert and Saint Laurent by Betrand Bonello – covering the biography of the man who wore glasses and made a lot of clothes. It is unclear in what order the films will be released but the titles are as follows:

YSL: We can expect a glossy period piece from Olivier Assayas, who insists that his film will take in the designers political activities in the late sixties. It will also be the shortest  at only 23 minutes in length.

The Fabulous World of Yves: a whimsical fairytale version of the designer comes from the vision of Jean Pierre Jeunet, as the designer (Dominique Pinon) makes a series of gadget laden designs 

C*NT: Shock director Gaspar Noé’s film is set to concentrate on torture, sexual perversion and murder with a magisterial Vincent Cassel as the animal murdering fashionista.

Yves: Having recently expressed their desire to make more glamorous material, Belgian directors the Dardennes Brothers abandon their social realist principles for this glossy take on haut couture starring Adrien Brody.

Asterix and the Saint Laurent Collection: The return of everyone’s favourite potion glugging Gaul sees, Asterix teaming up with Yves Saint Laurent to fight the Romans (Valentino).

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT ROBIN THICKE

HOLLYWOOD – Following his hit Blurred Lines, the man Rolling Stone called ‘The New Huey Lewis and the News’ Robin Thicke has had wonderful publicity recently thanks to a VH1 sponsored ‘ask me anything’ event, but what do we really know (and when I say know, know means know) about him?

We sent the Studio Exec FACT SQUAD to find out.

1. Robin Thicke’s wife, Paula Patton, left him.

2. Robin Thicke’s most famous song is ‘Blurred Lines’ which is not about rape, specifically. Rather the song is about the way, when you get to a certain age, newspaper print begins to be difficult to make out, and reading the crickets scores (without your reading glasses) – ‘you know you want it’ – can actually look like ‘blurred lines’ rather than text. 

3. Robin Thicke has written many songs for other artists, including Christine Aguilera, The Muppets and Bros, and says his one ambition is to write a song as good as ‘Sweet Cherry Pie’.

 4. Greatly influenced by Marvin Gaye, Robin Thicke frequently holds vigils at the Forest Lawn Cemetery where Gaye is buried where Thicke and friend Pharrell listen to the mysterious sound of revolving that comes from below.  

5. In many parts of Switzerland, Robin Thicke is worshiped as a minor deity.

For more FACTS click here.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT THE WORLD CUP

HOLLYWOOD – Now that the USA are through to the knock out stages of the 2014 FIFA World Cup, the FACT team at Studio Exec decided it was time to parachute into Brazil and score some FACTS about this most fascinating of ‘sports’.

1. The word ‘world’ in World Cup, actually means literally the world. And not just America as in World Series! Whatever will they think of next?

2. You can lose and still go through. Even though the USA lost to the Germans they still went through to the knock out stage because of something called ‘goal difference’. This refers to how well the ‘goalie’ – back woods mechanic Tim Howard in our case – decorates the goal with ethnic knick knacks, making it genuinely different.

 3. The Rest of the World call soccer football but nobody knows why. The most likely theory is that an Englishman misheard a Portuguese sea captain while ordering oysters in an Amsterdam tavern, as immortalized in Jacques Brel’s ‘Amsterdam’, covered superbly by David Bowie.

4. When the ball misses going in the net, but hits the side netting or the post or the bar, this is worth half a goal. These half goals are only counted up in the case of a draw.

5. Biting Italian defenders is a popular sport in Uruguay in its own right. Luis Suarez was the under 21 champion, gnawing his way through the elderly 1976 Azzurri squad.

For more FACTS click here. 

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT JANE CAMPION

 HOLLYWOOD – She is the director of The Piano and Top of the Lake and the last president of the Cannes jury but what do we really know about writer, producer and director Jane Campion. The Studio Exec flew the FACT Team to Australia to find out.

1. Jane Campion never won a competitive sport in her life and had the h permanently confiscated from her surname as recognition of this by the New Zealand government in 1987. 

2. Jane Campion was nominated for an Oscar for her work on The Piano. The film was all about the adventures of a piano in the New Zealand rain forest. Try as it might it could not escape the clutches of the wicked Holly Hunter. Everyone was depressed except Harvey Keitel who was allowed to wander about in his birthday suit.

3. Although born in New Zealand, Jane Campion tells everyone she’s Australian because she thinks being Australian is ‘way cooler, especially since that asshole Peter Jackson ruined everything for everyone’.

4. By casting her as the lead in her erotic thriller In the Cut, Jane Campion was directly responsible for changing Meg Ryan from the sweet girl next door of romantic comedies, to the towering dramatic actress we know today.  

5. Bright Star disappointed Science Fiction fans everywhere and by some is not even considered a Science Fiction film, but rather something to do with poetry. More sophisticated SF fans believed the film was a ‘metaphor’ for another film.

For more FACTS click here.

TOP 5 SOCCER FILMS

BRAZIL – In honor of the World Cup Studio Exec has taken time out of his busy schedule to use his top 5 Soccer Films. 

1. Escape to Victory – It has Pele, Michael Caine and Sylvester Stallone as a goal keeper. Directed by John Huston and co-starring Max Von Sydow it’s actually better than soccer itself and proves decisively that Soccer won the war and not tennis as the French insist.

2. Kes – Not really about football but there’s a great football match in the middle with a superlative Brian Glover. See also Gregory’s Girl

3. Zidane – A documentary about everyone’s favorite headbutter of Italians.

4. Bend it Like Beckham – On the one hand it was a popular light comedy about a young British girl’s ambition to play football despite her traditional Indian family’s protests. On the other, it introduced us to the talents of Kiera Knightley.  

5. The Damned United – Michael Sheen plays Brian Clough, a football manager of something called Leeds United Football Club (a fictional team?) who seems hell bent on pissing everybody off, to hilarious results. 

For more lists of things with the number 5 in the title Click Here.  

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT ANGELINA JOLIE

HOLLYWOOD – With Maleficent out in theatres this weekend, the question on everyone’s lips is who is this Angelina Jolie? Where does she come from and what does she do? Well, the Studio Exec FACT Team have answered the clarion call.

1. Angelina Jolie is/isn’t married to Brad Pitt. She first met Pitt on the hit show Friends where she played Rachel.

2. Jolie in French means ‘pretty’. So in French, Angelina Jolie actually means ‘Pretty Little Angel’.

3. Angelina Jolie once played Lara Croft, a character who initially appeared in a computer game.  A croft is a small plot of land on which sheep are grazed.  Sheep are unfamiliar with the inner workings of computers.

 4. Angelina Jolie’s first breakout role was in the film Girl Interrupted starring Winona Ryder. The two actress got on so well they invented their own private language and use it to this day to speak to each other and share nasty jokes about Jennifer Aniston.  

5. Angelina Jolie’s father is Jon Voigt. They get on great.

For more FACTS click here.

5 STORIES WE DIDN’T WRITE

HOLLYWOOD – There are a number of stories in the past that have been attributed to the Studio Exec which were not our work and we would like in the interests of clarity and intellectual honesty to make this abundantly clear. Here is a list of stories which have caused some confusion.

1. Matthew McConaughey’s Oscar acceptance speech

2. James Franco to play Tommy Wiseau. Although nowadays each journalist has been issued with an automatic James Franco headline generator, this one stood out as almost identical to something we would publish, but alas it was not our doing. If it goes ahead, and there are only rumors at the moment, the universe will probably implode on its own stupidity.

3. Private Benjamin remake to star Rebel Wilson. Or for that matter Lethal Weapon reboot to star Chris Hemsworth.

4.  Miley Cyrus singing to a huge inflatable model of her dead dog.

5. Justin Bieber just being. 

For more FACTS however, CLICK here.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT CANNES

CANNES – As we prepare for ten days of debauchery interrupted by some ‘films’ what do we REALLY know about the 67th French Film Festival called Cannes?

The Studio Exec FACT team are on the Croissette.

1. Cannes is called Cannes, because Cannes is French for Cans, and films – before they could be illegally downloaded -used to come in cans!

2. The top prize at Cannes is the Palme D’Or. Initially, the Palme D’Or was a sexual act that could be performed alone, but with time it became synonymous with art house cinema and especially the films of Lars Von Trier.

3. Lars Von Trier was declared ‘Persona Non Grata’ at the 2011 festival after making jokes about being a Nazi. Persona Non Grata is Latin and roughly translates as ‘Here’s a lot of Publicity for Free’.

4. The head of the Jury this year is Jane Campion. She is a woman. You heard it right. A. Woman.   

5. The Croissette is the name given to the Crescent of the beach on which Cannes is situated. Every day at twelve o clock they fire an American Independent filmmaker out of a cannon at the castle in the old town to mark the hour. Since 1989 this honor has been reserved to winners of the Sundance Film Festival.

For more Cannes coverage CLICK HERE for more FACTS click over here. 

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT ZAC EFRON

HOLLYWOOD – Zac Efron hits the screens in Neighbors, but what do we really know about him? Here, courtesy of the Studio Exec FACT team, are the FACTS.

1. Before becoming an actor, the High School Musical star created the financial services, commodities and energy company Enron, the failure of which in 2001 presaged the credit crunch to come.2. Before setting up Enron, Zac Efron, at the age of 2, 1989 was instrumental in crashing the Exxon Valdez while drunk and causing the 54th biggest oil spill in world history. 

3.  Following the collapse of Enron, Zac Efron got a starring role in the Disney movie High School Musical, impressing the producers with his ability to sing, dance, act and handle complex financial instruments. ‘He was one of the first insiders to really understanding CDAs,’ says girlfriend, Vanessa Hudgens. ‘He was a top flight manager and a quant. But Enron took it all out of him.’

4. The character Troy Bolton was initially based on the Anglo-American poet T.S. Eliot, but the part was completely rewritten to fit Efron’s baritone voice and many of the parallels were lost on the largely pre-teen audience.

5.  Neighbors co-stars, Seth Rogen and Zac Efron hate each other in ‘real life’ mainly for reasons of political differences. Zac Efron is a fascist whereas Seth Rogen is a neo-fascist. 

For more 5 FACTS Click around about HERE.