5 ACTORS WHO DIED

 HOLLYWOOD – Even in Hollywood where stars shine bright, Death, the Grim Reaper, the stretches his inimitable bony hand. Studio Exec pays his respects to five actors who died (with a list).

1. Oliver Hardy: Hilarious half of comedy duo Laurel and Hardy, Oliver Hardy died. 

2. Humphrey Bogart: One of Hollywood’s unlikeliest leading men, Humphrey Bogart initially became famous for his tough guy villains/detectives and only quite late in life proved himself a romantic lead in such instant classics as The Big Sleep and Casablanca. He stretched his acting chops in more unconventional roles like The Caine Mutiny and The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, but it was his iconic heroic figure which will be forever remembered. He died.

3. Audrey Hepburn: She was one of the most beautiful actress to ever grace the screen, with her glowing charm and wit she charmed audiences worldwide, be it as Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany’s or the Princess Anne in Roman Holiday. Now dead.

4. Grace Kelly: She was the silver screen queen who went on to become a princess, Alfred Hitchcock’s favorite actress and a woman of almost impossible beauty. She is the subject of a new film starring Nicole Kidman. She’ll likely die at the end or the beginning or both. In real life, she died at the end.

5. Bengt Ekerot: The Swedish actor and director was most famous for his role as Death in Ingmar Bergman’s 1957 thriller The Seventh Seal, playing chess on the beach with Max Von Sydow. In 1971 the shoe was on the other foot, however, when he died.

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5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT JOHNNY DEPP

HOLLYWOOD – Following his amazing performance in Wally Pfister’s Transcendence, Johnny Depp is back to take over the world but what do we really know about him? We uploaded the FACT program and now have brought about a post-technological apoca-FACT!

1. Johnny Depp used to be an actor!

2. When Johnny Depp was seven years old, he stole some raspberries from a local grocery store, but felt guilty about it and took them back. No one had noticed the theft, nor little Johnny putting the raspberries back. Johnny never told anyone about the incident. In fact, he has no recollection of it, so it’s almost as if the event itself – which had no impact on how his life turned out – is vanishingly unimportant. And yet it is a fact.

3. Johnny Depp has had romances with some of the most beautiful young women in the world, including Winona Ryder, Queen Elizabeth II of England, Winnie Mandela, Vanessa Paradis and now the delightful Morgan Freeman.

4. In the industry, Johnny Depp’s nickname is Poster Boy, because of his tendency to steal the poster from any one else in the film, even poor Mia Wasikowska who played the lead role in Alice in Wonderland had the poster stolen from her. This led to a plot by Armie Hammer and Orlando Bloom to assassinate the Poster Boy which luckily was foiled.

5. Johnny Depp’s most popular character, beloved of children everywhere and a popular addition to any fancy dress party is Donnie Brasco. 

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5 ACTORS’ REAL NAMES REVEALED

HOLLYWOOD – ‘A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet’ wrote Shamlyn Pod, or William Shakespeare as he is better known.

However, in Hollywood (real name Dusty Hills) what a rose is called is of great importance. For the first time, The Studio Exec will name and shame those such as Valerie Shitstain (Jessica Chastain) and Mammory Driver (Winona Ryder) who have left behind the handle their parents ill-advisedly gave them in their climb to stellar-ish stardom. 

1. Michael Caine: Everybody knows him as the cheerful cockney butler with a love of tangerines and a tendency to burst into tears at the drop of a bat, but he was first brought into the world as humble Nickelback Micklemouse, a name which would later be used as inspiration for one of the more tedious examples of ‘rock’.

2. Scarlett Johansson: Famed Norwegian beauty and star of Her was baptized after the patron saint of Jam sandwiches: Slappy Dappy Fffnerfenerrff.

3. Spike Lee: The radical black director, friend to struggling graphic designers everywhere and vigilante distributor of the wrong addresses, was known to his schoolmates as simply Seamus Flannagan O’Rourke.

4. Terrence Malick: Film director and voice over artist extraordinaire, bird watcher and stand up comic, Terrence Malick changed his name in order to gain more respectability. His real name is Larry Giggles.  

5. George Clooney: George Clooney’s birth name is Brad Pitt (and Brad Pitt’s is George Clooney), but while they were both struggling young actors, they decided to swap their names as a gas. Before they knew it, they were world famous and it was too late to swap back. For a joke, shout out Brad whenever George is in the room and watch him spin around, before checking himself.

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TOP 5 ANDIE MACDOWELL FILMS

HOLLYWOOD – Fashion model turned actress Andie MacDowell has been wowing audiences for decades with her beautiful looks and capacity to talk and walk and wear clothes.

But what are our favorite FIVE films? Well, it’s been a tough choice but here goes.

1. Groundhog Day: Although many people remember Bill Murray’s amazing performance, the brilliantly inventive script and the late Harold Ramis’ inspired molding of the whole, Andie MacDowell is also in it.

2.  Groundhog Day: Although many people remember Bill Murray’s amazing performance, the brilliantly inventive scripts and the late Harold Ramis’ inspired molding of the whole, Andie MacDowell is also in it.

3. Groundhog Day: Although many people remember Bill Murray’s amazing performance, the brilliantly inventive scripts and the late Harold Ramis’ inspired molding of the whole, Andie MacDowell is also in it.

4. Groundhog Day: Although many people remember Bill Murray’s amazing performance, the brilliantly inventive scripts and the late Harold Ramis’ inspired molding of the whole, Andie MacDowell is also in it.

5.  Groundhog Day: Although many people remember Bill Murray’s amazing performance, the brilliantly inventive scripts and the late Harold Ramis’ inspired molding of the whole, Andie MacDowell is also in it.

For more FACTS and top Fives CLICK HERE

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT JENNIFER LAWRENCE

HOLLYWOOD – Following American Hustle, Winter’s Bone and The Hunger Games, Jennifer Lawrence – or Jafflepants as her fans know her – has become one of the most sought after and popular actresses of the Hollywood firmament.

But what do we really know about this Katniss Everdeen? Studio Exec fires some FACT arrows at the oligarchy of post-apocalyptic thing.

1. Jennifer Lawrence can’t walk for more than five steps without falling over, because she’s a terrible drunkard.

2. Her fans, who are devoted to her and frequently murder babies in her honor, know her as Jafflepants, a name that comes from repeating Jennifer Lawrence over and over again very fast while falling down a well.

3. Jafflepants’ trademark is her unpretentious ‘naturalness’. This is absolutely ‘Genuine’, a subsidiary of ‘Authentic’.

4. When Jack Nicholson approached her at an Oscar party while she was giving an interview, what he whispered to her was: ‘Do you want to come round to my house and look at my engravings?’ An invitation, Jafflepants accepted only to be surprised by the fact Nicholson’s engravings collections was so extensive.

5. Jennifer Lawrence almost never got the role of Katniss in the Hunger Games, because the director originally wanted William Shatner, but the author Suzanne Collins insisted that the then less famous actress was much more suitable for the role of the teenage girl, than the octogenarian fat man.

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AMY ADAMS’ TOP 5 CHEESES

HOLLYWOOD –  Oscar nominated and multi-talented actress, star of The Master, American Hustle and The Muppets, Amy Adams is also the Studio Exec resident Consumer Advice Expert. Today she’s tasting cheeses.

1. Edam – This Dutch cheese – originating from the town of the same name in the Netherlands –  is a mild cheese, with hardly any flavor and no smell. This is the cheese for people who don’t like cheese. Slightly salty and softer than some other mild cheeses such as cheddar. This is a very good entry level cheese, but cheese aficionados will find it somewhat insipid.

2. Brie – This beautiful French cow’s cheese with a soft white rind of mold is delicious eaten with a traditional crunchy baguette, but be warned there are a range of varieties and tastes and quality vary.  

3. Gorgonzola – Blue cheese is one of the things which most disconcerts David O. Russell, the director of The Fighter and American Hustle. But few know that I was actually born in Italy and this delicious Italian cheese is gorgeous with pears, celery or melted on bread or pasta.

4. Cheddar – The original Cheddar comes from a small town in Somerset, England. Christian Bale first brought me some of this cheese. He is a cheese maniac and can get quite angry. Many is the time he has interrupted filming with a strangled cry of ‘Who Touched my CHEESE?’ Perfect for ‘cheese on toast’.

5. Stinking Bishop -A relatively new cheese, first created in 1972, soaked in Perry with a high fat content. But be warned the smell is quite pungent and will put off many, but the taste is delicious. Incidentally, Robert de Niro eats nothing but Stinking Bishop.

For more of Amy Adams’ Top Five advice Click Here.  

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT TRUE DETECTIVE

LOUISIANA – All hail the Yellow King and the climax of the McConaughssance, but what are the FACTS behind the HBO hit anthology show True Detective? Only the Truer Detective of the Studio Exec can give you the lowest low down. And we promise it will be depressing.

1. First mooted in the late eighties, True Detective was initially envisioned as a Cheers spin off which the producers hoped would cash in on Woody Harrelson’s popularity as Woody. Entitled The Dopey Detective, the script was altered as the years went by, but according to director Cary Fukunaga ‘the ideas are essentially the same as is the mood of the piece’.

2.  The theme song is sung by Cyndi Lauper from her own composition. 

3. The references throughout the series to the Yellow King is a reference to show runner Nic Pizzolatto’s love of Lego. There was even a suggestion that the finale would be a Lego episode.

4. Despite playing an atheistic intellectual and troubled soul of keen intelligence, actor Matthew McConaughey is much different in real life, being in reality a dopey God Squader. Woody Harrelson plays an inebriated pussy hound. And… erm.

5.   Cary Fukunaga and Nic Pizzolatto are in talks to make a new show based on the Matthew McConaughey picture Sahara. ‘It will be the most depressing and humorless thing ever put on television,’ says Pizzolatto. ‘In keeping with the spirit of the film.’


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5 ROLES THAT DESTROYED ACTORS

HOLLYWOOD – Actors are only as good as the roles they inhabit. But some actors have their careers capsized by a role.

It might not be a bad role. It might even be a very good role. But it is a role from which their careers might take some time to recover.

1. Jack Nicholson – Jack Torrance: We already has mad Jack with McMurphy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, but Nicholson’s collaboration with Kubrick, fixed the actor in the popular imagination as wild man Jack, a fusion of the popular perception of the actor and his increasingly stereotyped roles. The Witches of Eastwick, Wolf and the Joker were all to follow.

2. Naomi Watts – Princess Diana: Naomi Watts broke into films with her wonderful performance in Mulholland Drive. Ever since then, she has veered from art house fare, including Haneke’s remake of Funny Games to bone crushing stupidity such as King Kong. Her lead role in Diana will probably be seen (hopefully) as the nadir of her career, with the Kiwi actress having to utter lines such as ‘Can a heart really break?’ to her heart surgeon boyfriend.

3. Eddie Murphy – Donkey: The problem with Eddie Murphy’s voice talent performance in the Shrek franchise is the fact it set the bar too high for all his visible roles. The fact that a stupid/smart ass ass outshone every other performance for two decades painfully revealed that this once great stand up comic had become mired in tasteless children’s fare, or vaguely superior children’s fare.

4. Eric Bana – Chopper: The brilliant début of this undoubtedly talented actor was also a moment that both made and ruined his career. With expectations raised so high, Bana would go on to star in films by Ang Lee, Steven Spielberg, Joe Wright and Ridley Scott, but he would consistently prove to be underwhelming, not once creating a character as belligerently unforgettable as the true life crime antagonist of the Andrew Dominik film.

5. Cameron Diaz – Jenny Everdeane: prior to being cast in Martin Scorsese’s Gangs of New York Cameron Diaz was a fine comic actress. Well, okay-ish. But her utter unsuitability as the Nineteenth Century former model turned actress turned prostitute in slum town New York, not only ruined that film but also jinxed her career and she went from adorable wit to annoying wart in the space of a slap.   

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5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT THE OSCARS

HOLLYWOOD – Tonight is the 86th Academy Awards and that fact is your last free one. Read the others and become cleverer.

1. Ellen Degeneres is only the second woman to present the Oscars. The first was Bob Hope.

2. The actual Oscars were designed to resemble Yul Bryner. The original statuette included an impressive erection that Yul always nursed but this was changed following complaints from Rex Harrison.

3. Anyone who wins an Oscar is entitled to droit du seigneur over anyone who failed to win the Oscar that year, regardless of category. Although this is largely considered a custom and is hardly ever enforced, David Niven became legendary for doing everyone literally everyone after his win.

4. RIPD will not win an Oscar.  

5. Steven Spielberg is the only person to ever win an Oscar for brushing his teeth. The Oscar was awarded as part of a mix up when instead of taking place at the Dolby theater, the ceremony was booked in the Colgate theater.

For more FACTS on everything from this to that click HERE! 

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT THE BAFTAS

LONDON – The Studio Exec is at the BAFTAs this evening which is kind of like the Oscars if the Oscars said ‘pavement’ and ‘fancy a cup of tea vicar’.

Here are 5 FACTS in an envelope and ‘I wish to thank….’

1. A BAFTA has suffered from inflation in recent years. In the forties a BAFTA was worth three Oscars but now you need seventeen BAFTAs to get an Oscar on the open market.

2. BAFTA stands for British Affable Fellows for Tea Association. It was formed in the 1930s to promote tea etiquette following the 1927 cup and saucer riots of Old London Town, which was actually destroyed in the riots to be rebuilt into the London we know today. BAFTA promoted affable tea drinking until it got bored and turned its attention to the ‘flicks’.

3. Celebrating British film has been difficult because the most of the stuff is ‘frightful tosh featuring spotty oiks in stiff collared shirts’ The New Yorker. However, due to new rules if a film is touched by a British person it immediately becomes a British film, (see Gravity).

4.  Many people are celebrating this year as a vintage one in British cinema with such film as The Selfish Giant, Gravity and Philomena competing this year. Next year will see the release of a film which combines characters from each film as a young child rescues fallen space debris to attract his long lost Irish mother who keeps saying ‘fecking eejit’ in an amusing way.

5. Tom Hiddleston, Mark Strong, Benedict Cumberbatch, Michael Fassbender, Idris Elba and Chiwitel Ejiofor are all actually German except for Fassbender who’s Welsh.  

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VALENTINE’S DAY 5 TOP DATE MOVIES

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone, and just in case you’re thinking of snuggling up with your loved one on the sofa and popping an illegally downloaded film into the thing, here at Studio Exec. we have a few suggestions for you to consider, with our 5 TOP DATE MOVIES.

 

A Serbian Film. This 2010 classic is a subtle romantic comedy proving that Serbs have all the fun. Milos is an out of work actor of fruity films who is offered the opportunity of making one last ‘come’ back. But things aren’t quite what they seem and Milos finds himself in a series of scrapes to hilarious results. 

Enter the Void. Gasper Noé directed this chuckle bucket of a film about a dopey American living in Hong Kong and getting shot to death in the toilet when a drug deal goes South. A charming remake of It’s a Wonderful Life, Noé’s film will have your date dewy-eyed, whimsical and heart-warming in equal measure.

Cannibal Holocaust. There’s nothing better than a scary movie to give you an excuse to get close to your Valentine’s day special other. And Ruggiero Deodato’s seminal found footage shocker will have you jumping and then laughing at how silly it all is. Enjoy.

Contempt. Ooooh la la! A French film with none other than Bridget Bardot to get you in the mood for romance. Watch as she and her uninspiringly dull boyfriend argue for 97 minutes. This portrait of a relationship in a tailspin will not only entertain, it will show you what too look forward to.

Nil by Mouth. Dim the lights, pour the wine and enjoy this Gary Oldman directed portrait of a marriage. Ray Winstone and Kathy Burke are the happy couple. Oldman was directly inspired by Richard Curtiss but danger this fluffy comedy can cause instant marriage proposals. 

5 FILMS WITH TRAGIC BUT ALSO HILARIOUS ENDINGS

HOLLYWOOD – Here at the Studio Exec we love a good ending, and I’m not talking about… well you can do that joke yourselves, it’s so obvious. I mean the film with the twist that leaves you gasping, ‘and wearing a comical expression of a guy who just had his guts kicked out’ as Bogart says in Casablanca.

But the stretch for tragic frequently drips into the absurd – see Hamlet for a particularly funny example – and the Studio Exec Fact Squad (or SEFS as we like to be known) have come up with FIVE  examples to prove our point. Feel free to heap abuse on us in comments. There are absolutely no SPOILERS (I think). 

1. The Wages of Fear (La Salaire de la Peur): Yves Montand plays Mario, a down on his luck Frenchman in a dirt poor South American village.

The Ending: He has succeeded in a wild adventure, transporting nitroglycerine across 400 miles of treacherous South American road, up mountains, through jungle. So dangerous is it, that the other three men who participate die. As the only survivor, and now rich with his reward, he insists on driving the truck all the way back the way he has come, laughing his head off and barreling along at careless speed. As his girlfriend and friends celebrate the news of his survival by waltzing around the village bar, Mario decides to ‘waltz’ his truck down the mountain road. Guess what happens next. 

2. The Mist: A mysterious mist traps Dave Drayton (Thomas Jane) and his son Billy in the local supermarket. Monsters lurk in the eerie fog, killing anyone who ventures outside and the survivors divide along the lines of religious fundamentalists and the sane.

The Ending: In a desperate bid for freedom, Billy and his son with a couple of other customers manage to get a car started and escape the supermarket. However, they can’t escape the mist and the car runs out of petrol and they can only await a horrific violent death. To spare them this, Dave shoots everyone in the car – including his son – only to see the army emerge from the mist to save the day. Dave is left in the embarrassing situation of a car full of fresh corpses and a hot gun in his hand.   

3. The Shining: Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) can’t write a novel so decides to kill his family instead.

The Ending: Here the arrival of the cavalry comes in the form of Dick Halloran who comes all the way from Miami to Colorado in the Winter, by plane, car and snowmobile only to get the chop and provide Jack with his one fatality (such a useless murderer is he). His incompetence is such that he is duped by his own child at a relatively easy game and dies in the snow. The shot of him frozen always elicits a bark of laughter from the unsuspecting. 

4. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978 remake): The aliens invade and start taking over San Francisco by replacing people with their alien duplicates.

The Ending: The survivors have managed to sabotage an alien pod factory and Donald Sutherland seems to have managed to blend in but when Veronica Cartwright (another survivor) approaches him, he points at her and emits an alien scream. To render the horror ever more horrific the camera zooms into Sutherland’s gaping maw.  

5. Seven: A serial killer puts into motion one of the most elaborate serial killing sprees in the history of elaborate movie serial killers, taking a victim a day for a week, each one representing one of the seven deadly sins.

The Ending: Detectives Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman have taken Kevin Spacey’s serial killer out to the desert to find the last victim when a box is delivered. Brad keeps saying ‘What’s in the box?’ and weeping piteously. Morgan Freeman (who is the clever one by the way) decides he’ll open the box to reveal that it contains Gwyneth Paltrow’s head. Everything works out well.   

POULTRY WORLD’S TOP 5 CHICKEN MOVIES

SUFFOLK, UK – By day Poultry World is the leading magazine for all things poultry, but by night they are cinema fanatics hunting out the best in poultry related cinema, armed only with puns.

And EXCLUSIVELY in collaboration with Studio Exec they have laid their top five feathery films. 

1. Chicken Run: I know it’s obvious and it came under criticism from the industrial side of the poultry business with its gross mis-characterization of the factory vs. free range debate, but you have to love this Aardman classic with some wonderful voice work from plucky Mel Gibson.  

 2. Chicken Little: Talk about plucky!? Ha ha. That’s a … yeah. This re-imagining of the old fairy tale is a zippy fun animation with loads of jokes for the adults as well as fun for the kids. And everyone’s favorite Kickstarter Zach Braff does the voice honors.

 3. Poulet Aux Prunes: Following her wonderful Persepolis, Iranian filmmaker Marjane Satrapi came up with this live action feature starring Mathieu Amalric as a suicidal musician. Hilarious.

 4. Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead: The Troma studio produced this wonderful comedy-horror (available to view on the internet I think). Some of us however didn’t like gore, which ruffled a few feathers.

 5. Angel Heart: Okay, it isn’t on a level with Indiana Jones’ ‘Snakes! Why did it have to be snakes?’ but Mickey Rourke’s alektorophobia is a running joke through Alan Parker’s otherwise tense sulfuric thriller.

 To visit the Poultry World website Click Here.