cat scorsese

NEW YORK – A man was left stunned this morning after a cat resembling legendary director Martin Scorsese was discovered in Central Park.

The feline was found by casting agent Franz Lieberman who came across the amazing animal as he was taking an early morning run.

“I’d stopped to pause for breath when I heard a voice I recognised coming from the bushes,” said an animated Lieberman:

I wandered into the undergrowth and saw this cat giving a lecture to 3 squirrels and a hedgehog about the influence of the French new wave on American independent cinema of the late 1960s. I wasn’t shocked that the cat was talking, I mean, I’ve seen ‘Babe’ and I know that animals are capable of human speech. It was the fact that this creature looked and sounded exactly like Martin Scorsese!

Lieberman claims he stayed to listen to the remainder of the “remarkably insightful lecture” then spent the next half hour chatting to the cat about his upcoming projects:

Marty, as he insisted on me calling him, said he was due to start pre-production on a remake of Visconti’s ‘The Leopard’ but unfortunately his leading mouse had been eaten by an owl the day before.

After parting from Marty with a firm paw shake,  Lieberman immediately got in contact with the New York Times who were only too familiar with such fantastical tales:

“It’s nothing we haven’t heard before,” said journalist Rick Town:

These film industry people take lots of drugs the night before then go on their morning runs and claim they had a conversation with an animal that looks like a director. Only last week we got a call from a screenwriter from New Jersey who said he’d been discussing the effect of Russian revolutionary cinema on the German expressionist movement with a Koi Carp that was a dead ringer for Werner Herzog.

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