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Friday 24 January 2020
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CANNES DIARY – YORGOS LANTHIMOS PUT IN CHARGE OF CANNES

CANNES DIARY – YORGOS LANTHIMOS PUT IN CHARGE OF CANNES

CANNES – Dogtooth and The Lobster director Yorgos Lanthimos has been placed in charge of badge allocation as well as the running of next year’s Cannes film festival.

The Greek director has been given carte blanche (a French phrase) to write a set of arbitrary rules to replace the already arbitrary rules put in place. We had a chance to talk to Yorgos after he wandered into the Studio Exec Pavillion on the Croisette at Cannes.

I intend to completely revolutionize the way Cannes is organized next year. First of all I’m going to give everyone with a pink badge a yellow badge and everyone with yellow badge a blue badge, and everyone with a blue badge a green badge and everyone with a green badge a pink badge. The white badges will remain the same for they are all my friends and they will help us rule.

How will you rule Yorgos?

With terror and politeness. Everyone will say please and thank you but stabbings will be mandatory and will take place daily in the Debussy Theatre. Queuing will be suddenly and randomly reversed. People will be admitted to the theater but the theater will be full of cats and no one will be allowed to leave until all of the cats have been murdered and eaten.

Jesus!

No, it’s pronounced Yorgos. It’s Greek.

I know.

Oh, and another thing I am going to make everyone vassal slaves and at parties they will be forced to have joyless sex.

How will we be able to tell the difference?

Ha ha. You are funny. Now you must kill a cat and eat it. Thank you very much.

Yorgos Lanthimos will also be accepting a cabinet position in David Cameron’s new government in the United Kingdom.

For more Cannes coverage, go find it, you lazies. 

 

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