CANNES – You might think that life at Cannes is all champagne, glittering parties and sex with beautiful people, but you’re wrong; there’s a hell of a lot of cocaine as well. Speaking of cocaine, The Bling Ring gives you all the pleasure of sitting and watching people on cocaine talk and sing and take photographs of themselves, which – as everyone knows – is almost as good as taking the drug itself (I’m being f*cking sarcastic).

I got the opportunity to talk to Paris Hilton and I asked her how come she’s so happy for everyone to thinking she’s f*cking stupid and she said about quarter to nine. I don’t know. It was loud I suppose.

Yesterday was also the turn of Francois Ozon, a French film director who makes French films about French girls with not many clothes on. Ooh la la! He’s witty and what not, but he’s an asshole. He wore a totally unnecessary scarf and kept sniffing all the time as if I was the one who reeked of Eau di Toilet. 

Everyone went crazy last night for Emma Watson, which is all right I suppose, after all, she was in that film for children. 

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