NEW YORK – Camille Cosby shocked the world today after she vehemently denied the Planet earth is round.
“I don’t know why people keep saying it’s round because it absolutely isn’t.” , said an angry Cosby.
It’s flat. There is no doubt about it. The idea that its round is just a conspiracy concocted by the women claiming that Bill drugged them. They’re liars and they’re just out to damage my husband.
Camille went on to say that Cosby’s alleged victims are part of a wider conspiracy:
I read on the internet the other day that lots of people now believe that grass is green. It’s shocking. I mean these social media platforms are warping the minds of the young. The way things are going, by the end of this year most of the children of America will be totally convinced that water is wet and we have to do something now to stop the spread of these vicious rumours.
Mrs Cosby continued for several hours in which she denied the existence of bread, dogs, shoelaces, marzipan, golf and George Clooney but she saved her most startling denial until last:
I mean Bill didn’t even have an affair with those women. He told me, and I believe him, that they took the drugs themselves and forced themselves onto his penis. Sure, I wondered why he happened to be wearing no underwear on any of these occasions but he told me his boxer shorts were magic and I should not think about it and go count the zeros on our bank account statement.