BURTON CRASHES DEPP WEDDING
LA – Eccentric director, Tim Burton has been remanded in custody by the LA police after he crashed Johnny Depp’s wedding to Amber Heard.
“It was quite the scene”, said photographer Ed Shmuck:
Amber was walking down the aisle when a visibly drunk Burton appeared from nowhere and hit her over the back of the head with a chair. He was immediately restrained by a few members of Johnny’s entourage but Tim fought back. He broke one guys nose with an impressive roundhouse kick and then he produced a pair of nunchuks and all hell broke loose.
According to Shmuck, Burton was eventually subdued and began screaming and foaming at the mouth:
He shouted over to Johnny “YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME YOU BASTARD!” and “YOU COMPLETE ME!” It was only when Amber picked herself up from the floor and kicked him unconscious did the terrible wailing stop.
Both Depp and Heard were unavailable for comment but Burton’s ex-wife Helena Bonham Carter told The Studio Exec that she wasn’t at all surprised:
“There were three of us in that marriage, so it was a bit crowded”, said Carter:
Johnny has tried to distance himself so Tim took up Kung Fu to take his mind of it. I knew it would all end in tears and I’m just relived he never brandished his ninja stars.
Asked if the incident would lead to the Alice in Wonderland sequel being shelved, Carter sighed:
Well, we can only f*cking hope so.