BRUCE WILLIS QUANTITY IS QUALITY
HOLLYWOOD – Bruce Willis Quantity is quality. In an exclusive interview with The Exec, Bruce Willis tells us that quantity is quality and he is trying to make as many films as possible before the end of the tax year.
Thank you for joining us Bruce Willis. Let’s dive straight in. Is quantity quality?
Are you filming this? If you are, could I have the footage please? I could use it in this week’s film, ‘Death Kill Fire Guns’. After all, quantity is quality.
That’s quite the title. What is it about?
How the fuck should I know? I turn up for a promo shoot and try to not look too bored. That’s the tough bit. I then send the producers some footage of me saying generic lines like, ‘Watch out!’, ‘Get down!’ or ‘It’s gonna blow! RUN!’. I think they get a stand-in to do my other lines. They shoot it from over my shoulder, so no-one can tell it aint me. Then I wait for the cash to come rolling in.
What about your artistic integrity?
Pa-hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. Hang on, let me catch my breath. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. You’re a funny guy. Not many people can make me laugh. Believe me. The last time I genuinely laughed was when I was working with Terry Gilliam on Twelve Monkeys. How long ago was that? A couple of years ago, right?
That was nearly 30 years ago.
You don’t say? Shit. That fucking Ferris Bueller was right. Life does kinda pass you by. You know, I was in Die Hard. I did a couple of the sequels also.
You made 4 sequels.
I did? Well, whaddayaknow. Anywho. When is this film coming out? When do I get paid? I got a tax bill to pay, ya know. I’m Nic Cage-ing it. Know what I mean?