Search
Monday 10 August 2020
  • :
  • :

BRIAN BLESSED TO DUB ALL TOM HARDY ROLES

BRIAN BLESSED TO DUB ALL TOM HARDY ROLES

HOLLYWOOD – Brian Blessed is to dub all Tom Hardy films from now on.

Mumbling heartthrob actor Tom Hardy is to be voiced by loud national treasure, Brian Blessed.

Veteran actor Blessed, made the announcement today by opening his bedroom window from his house at the peak of Kilimanjaro and shouted: ‘GOOD DAY EVERYBODY, DON’T BE ALARMED, IT IS JUST I, BRIAN BLESSED. GORDON’S ALIVE!’ bellowed the actor, shattering windows for hundreds of miles around.

‘I AM DELIGHTED TO ANNOUNCE I WILL BE THE VOICE YOU HEAR WHENEVER YOU WATCH A TOM HARDY FILM FROM NOW ON. NOBODY CAN UNDERSTAND A BLOODY WORD THE POOR LAD SAYS, SO THEY BROUGHT ME IN TO MAKE SURE WE CAN ALL UNDERSTAND HIM FROM NOW ON. GORDON’S ALIVE!’

‘I’M NOT DOING ANY BLOODY ACCENTS, MIND YOU. BECAUSE, WHEN YOU PAY FOR BRIAN, YOU GET BRIAN. FOR EXAMPLE, HERE IS ME IN TOM’S LAST FILM, CAPONE, AHEM,

“HELLO I AM AL CAPONE. OH NO, I JUST SHAT ME PANTS.” AND SCENE, GORDON’S ALIVE!’

‘HERE I AM BEING BOTH RON AND REGGIE KRAY IN LEGEND,

“HELLO REGGIE, I’M RONNIE” “NO, I’M RONNIE, YOU’RE REGGIE. “WHAT?” “EH?” “OH NO, WE BOTH JUST SHAT OUR PANTS!” AND SCENE, GORDON’S ALIVE!’

‘ANYWAY, YOU GET THE IDEA. YOU’RE GOING TO LOVE FINALLY BEING ABLE TO UNDERSTAND EVERY WORD THE POOR BOY SAYS. PEACE OUT. GORDON’S ALIVE!’

In support of this bold new move, Tom Hardy released the following statement:

‘Mumble mumble. Murmur murmur. Mumble. Murmur. Mumble murmur.’

Tom Hardy’s next film will be a remake of The Horse Whisperer, directed by Michael Bay.

(Visited 62 times, 1 visits today)



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.