GLASGOW – William Wallace – symbol of Scottish Nationalism and resistance to the perfidious English – has arrived in Scotland ahead of the vote in a referendum which might mark a historic move to independence from the United Kingdom.

Speaking EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec, the wode daubed fighter said:

I didnae believe I would see it in my lifetime but it is really going to happen. We’re going to get rid of the damned pasty faced English and finally stop living on our knees.  On the 18th of September, the Scottish people will be asked to decide on a simple question, should Scotland be an independent country? Now on the 18th of September you can run and live. Yes. And when you are old and in your bed, would you not trade all your days to come back to this place as a young man and tell your enemies to their faces, you can take our lives but you’ll never take OUR FREEDOM!

So you’re part of the Yes camp?

Absolutely. Those bastards bled us dry, both the country and me literally.

Yeah about that. The last time you tried for independence weren’t you… erm…

Eviscerated, yes.

Didn’t that hurt?

It stung a bit aye. But you know it’ll take a bit more than evisceration to stop me.

But then they chopped…

Yeah my head off yeah. They chopped off all my limbs actually. Hung, drawn and quartered is the technical term for it.

Bloody hell.

Aye, but it wasn’t that bad. I mean it was only the English doing it and so it’s not going to kill you, is it? Not really.

The vote for Scottish independence takes place on the 18th of September.


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