LONDON – Last night universal celebrations broke out spontaneously when news reached the masses (via IMDB) that Brad Pitt had cut his hair.
You can put VE day and VJ day together, along with all the New Year’s Eve parties and 4th of July celebrations and it would still only be a fraction of the happiness we now feel that Brad Pitt no longer has those floppy locks, he kept having to tuck behind his ears in World War Z.
The corpses of Orson Welles and Charlie Chaplin were exhumed and forced into grotesque postures of dance and joy as part of the celebrations. ‘It’s what they would have wanted,’ said grave digger, Paul Simon. In Syria rebels and regime fighters sat down together like brothers and compared before and after photographs of Brad’s hairstyle, dreaming of happier times.
Mr Pitt last had short hair for the Quentin Tarantino film Inglourious Basterds.
Fury will be released in 2014.