BREAKING NEWS – In a shock turnaround, internet fandom has done a complete 180 degree swivel as the Blonder Bond website launches. Bond fans around the world have flocked to the site as the Blonder Bond website launches its campaign for an even blonder James Bond after Daniel Craig hangs up the tuxedo. The Exec spoke exclusively with the website’s owners, who wish to remain anonymous.
Guys, thanks for joining us for this anonymous interview.
Guys? That’s a bit assumptive. We could be women or non-binary. You don’t know.
You’ve launched a website demanding who they cast as Bond in the next film. You’re 100% male.
Yeah, ok. Fair enough.
So, tell us about the website.
We were the ones behind the DanielCraigIsNotBond.com website. The tide seems to have turned against us a little. So we decided to launch another website to make sure the next Bond is even blonder. Really ramp up the blonde.
How Do You Respond To Claims That This Kind Of Fandom Is Toxic?
Who the fuck said that? Gimme their names and their twitter handles. I’ll set up a website and twitter campaign to fuck their shit right up. Bastards. Umm… what I meant to say was, not at all. I just want to engage with my film fan community and express my love for these films.
What Did You Think Of Quantum Of Solace?
If I ever hear anyone say anything good about that film, they’re dead to me. They are obviously wrong about everything they have ever posted about. They know nothing about films. Particularly James Bond films. Hah! I bet they think Roger Moore was too old to play Bond towards the end. Idiots.
What Do You Think About The Release The Snyder Cut Campaign?
Those liberal minded assholes? They were far too willing to bend to the will of the consensus. Dicks.
Who Do You Think Should Play The Next James Bond?
Pierce Brosnan in a blonde wig. Tarantino to direct.